Everything is All Right
by thinker0
Summary: slightly AU season 2ish. Rachel is not the same person she was the freshmen year of HS, she's addicted to pain. Something the trio notices when they finally grow a pair and try to befriend the diva. Starts Q/S/B and will be Faberittana R/Q/S/B
1. Chapter 1

**AN:**

**Hey to everyone reading this. It is slightly AU. Everyone is a sophomore unless indicated otherwise within the story, and while season 1 basically happened the way it did on screen there are some changes. The trio was and actual trio and has never really hated Rachel. They followed the whims of high school but they don't actually hate Rachel, quite the opposite in fact. As I mess with the universe of Glee I'll be sure to warn you ahead of time, and I'll be trying to update regularly but we'll see what happens.**

**Oh, and please try to be nice, it's my first story ever and I'm kinda shy. Somebody had to talk me into posting and then someone else had to basically post it for me. Anyway, I hope you enjoy.**

**PS I don't own anything, pretty much at all unless you count school debt**

**Chapter 1:**

Liquid dropped from a sharp knife into a slowly forming puddle. This time it was water, but earlier it had been an element of life, something far more important.

Red stained the sides of a sink as a girl scrubbed furiously at pinkish spots, trying to make the evidence, and memories, disappear. A bright white bandage stood out on her left arm, the pain reminding her that this was not a dream, and muttering could be heard as she ran through several different excuses. Finding one that was at least semi-believable she finalized her cover story, hoping that anyone who noticed her injury would believe her ramblings.

Frantic scrubbing continued until the girl's hands were rubbed raw and the sink had turned an off white pinkish color from the multiple layers of blood that had been worked into the porcelain.

Later the girl was curled up in bed, arms tight around a dark gold lion, patched and worn, but held together by love and hope. The lion had watched as the girl perfected many routines, but this dance of pain was one that made even stuffed animals wince.

Inky blackness gave way to light as dawn ushered in a new day and the girl drifted off into a fitful sleep.

**#RQSB#**

Brittany was the first to notice. The only plausible reason for it not being Quinn was because she did not know what to look for. After all, out of their trio, Quinn was the one that spent the most time looking. However, it was Brittany who noticed first, which was probably for the best.

It was a fairly normal day at school. People made their way through the hallways to class while chatting with friends and catching up on everything that had happened over the weekend. The idle chatter of high school, which garnered no more attention from anyone outside the conversations than the annoying buzz of insects did.

Quinn was getting something from her locker while Santana and Brittany were standing a little off to the side, pinkies linked, waiting for the head cheerleader to find whatever she was looking for.

Brittany's gaze wandered from Santana, who was looking at something on her phone, to Quinn, who was still searching for that elusive book, and then down the hall, flitting from person to person before finally settling on Rachel. A frown briefly marred Brittany's features as she tried to figure out what was wrong with Rachel. She wasn't exactly the brunette's friend, but she wanted to be. The frown deepened, she needed to talk to Santana and Quinn about that.

Her eyes were still focused on Rachel, noticing the dark smudges around her eyes and the tense set of her shoulders. But it wasn't Rachel's appearance that gave of the "something is wrong" vibe Brittany was getting, that was nothing out of the ordinary for the small singer. it was more like a slight undertone to the diva's usual exuberant attitude.

Maybe she was just stressed out about a project? That sounded like Rachel, but Brittany wasn't sure, something was off. She shrugged and decided to ask Rachel about it later. Problem shelved until more information could be gathered, Brittany started to turn back to Santana, almost missing the disaster that happened next.

Two freshmen had just made the varsity hockey team and had been given an assignment, an initiation rite, to prove their worth. After being told what to do, they exchanged looks and half-shrugged to show they were both game. Buying two large slushies, they wondered why they had been given such a specific target but passed it off as their teammates getting revenge on the girl for something.

As they made their way through the school, they noticed people either ducking out of their way or smirking at them. They smirked, content that they were part of the elite. If it meant being on top they had no problem throwing these drinks at someone every day.

As they made their way down a hallway they spotted their target, her sweater basically painting a target on her back. Grinning at each other and wanting to impress not only their teammates but the three Cheerios hanging out by a locker just down the hall they picked up the pace, hurrying towards their unfortunate victim.

Rachel was tired. Sleep had been coming less and less frequently since Shelby, she could not think of that woman as her mom, even in her head, had rejected her in favor of Beth. Her thoughts wandered to how Quinn was holding up and then back to the betrayal of her birth mother. Both topics had been chasing each other around her head since the events had happened.

A sigh escaped from her lips as she placed the last book in her bag and plastered on her most famous show face, the Broadway smile.

She turned around and was immediately met with a double slushy to the face. She did not recognize the voices of her tormentors as they laughed and threw a taunting comment at her, and concluded that they must be freshmen from the cracking of their voices, the hallmark of puberty. She sighed again and wiped the ice out of her eyes with the edges of her sleeves before pushing her sleeves up, forgetting why she was wearing long sleeves in the first place, and grabbed her slushy clean up kit before escaping the crowded hallway in favor of the almost always empty bathroom.

The boys barely had time to high five and take two steps before they were pinned to lockers by two Cheerios. Instead of the congratulations they were probably expecting, in their teenage fantasy the congratulations were in the form of kisses, they were faced with two furious cheerleaders. They would have hard pressed to tell which cheerio was more ticked off. Santana looked like she was about to take their heads off while Quinn was literally growling.

"Listen up." Santana barked. "You are never to slushy anyone ever again. Especially her. Comprende?"

Both boys nodded frantically, the tiny parts of their brains that weren't preoccupied with terror trying to figure out how these girls had gotten them at least an inch off the ground. They were quaking in their size 10s, and would be for most of the day as they tried to figure out what went wrong with their initiation.

"If we ever even think that you've slushied someone we will take action and it will not be pleasant." Quinn was in full HBIC mode and her tone reflected it.

This too was met with frantic nods as the boys couldn't look away from the ice cold glares they were receiving. The girls released their victims and shoved them down the hallway.

As soon as the boys regained their equilibrium they took off running.

Santana and Quinn turned to look for Rachel and Brittany, the boys forgotten in their search for the girls. They wondered where the blonde had gone while figuring Rachel was in the bathroom and Brittany was helping her when they couldn't find the dancer.

Brittany had barely caught the slushy disaster. She'd been mid-turn when it happened and had immediately reversed her direction to head toward Rachel. She had seen something in the few seconds it took her to start moving forward that caused her to gasp and pale.

A bandage was tightly wrapped around Rachel's upper left arm. By itself it wasn't a cause for alarm but coupled with the obvious lack of sleep and the look in her eyes Brittany knew that something was going on, and she had a niggling idea of what was going on.

Most people would have shrugged it off or ignored it, thinking that it was a normal occurrence. After all everyone got hurt and had trouble sleeping, that it happened at the same time was nothing to be worried about. That Rachel was actively trying to hide the bandage would have been waved off as the singer wanting to seem stronger than she was or just an accidental cover up considering the well known divatude the brunette sported.

Brittany knew that something was up, not only because of the physical evidence, but also by the diva's somber attitude. So she followed Rachel into the bathroom, barely looking back to see Santana and Quinn taking care of the idiots that had decided to slushy Rachel and smile in approval.

Rachel looked up from where she was standing to see Brittany's reflection in the mirror. She squeaked and tried to cover herself, self conscious and worried that the blonde would comment on the bandage. Her slushied shirt lay on the floor while her fresh one still hung from the back of a bathroom stall. Brittany gave her a small smile and proceeded to help her clean the rest of the slushy off of her. The dancer was extra gentle in her ministrations, having caught the tense set of the brunette's shoulders.

Rachel relaxed slightly and gave Brittany a shaky smile in return as she realized the dancer was not judging and was truly concerned, not just here to further the humiliation.

"How did you get hurt?"

Rachel started at the unexpected question. Most people would have asked on their entrance, rather than helping her before asking invasive questions.

When she gave Brittany a funny look, trying to cover up her nervousness, the blonde ran her hand along the damp bandage. It had been mostly protected from the slushy but their clean up had done some damage and the white was now wet and shaded in grime and slushy residue.

Rachel shrugged as she recalled the story she'd put together.

"The neighbor's cat is a menace and should not be allowed to roam free. It attacked me in my own back yard. I will have to complain once again that the animal be confined to either the house or declawed for public safety."

Brittany nodded slowly but looked at the bandage again. She wasn't going to push the subject, but she didn't quite believe Rachel either. She had cats and there had never been a time in which the claw marks deserved such a large bandage. Maybe Rachel's neighbor had a larger cat. Brittany shrugged off her thoughts, refocusing on Rachel.

Rachel gestured at the door, hoping to get the blonde to leave. She relished the company but realized that Santana and Quinn were not going to be far behind the tall dancer, and she did not want the blonde to be late for class or the other two girls to start asking questions.

"You can go if you want to, Brittany. Santana will be looking for you and Quinn won't be far behind. Thank you for helping me, but I can handle it from here." After all she'd done this same routine so much she had it down to an art and had actually done it while half asleep and sick.

Brittany nodded and reluctantly made her way out the door, knowing that Rachel was right but not wanting to leave the brunette alone.

She walked right into Santana. Luckily, the Latina caught her before she fell. Turning what could have been another disaster into a simple stumble.

Brittany smiled at Santana, thanking her protector.

"Thanks, S."

Santana smiled back, happy Brittany was happy.

"You're welcome Britt."

Quinn smiled at them both, happy to see Santana free with her emotions at school and Brittany happy. The expression became a scowl when Rachel did not follow Brittany out of the bathroom.

"Is she…?"

Brittany nodded at Quinn before she could finish the question, knowing what was going to be asked, and steered the other Cheerios towards the locker room.

"I need to talk to you guys about something."

**#RQSB#**

Rachel made it through the rest of the day without getting slushied again, something she was extremely thankful for. Rachel was wearing her last set of spare clothes she had brought to school; she made a memo in her planner to bring more. Her arm also hadn't stopped throbbing since second period, not enough to force a reaction but enough to be uncomfortable and distracting.

She was looking forward to the morphine she had "borrowed" from her Dads' medicine cabinet. A long bath was also in her plans, a reward for making it through the Glee club meeting for that day. After all she had to keep up appearances.

As Rachel stepped into the choir room, 30 minutes early, she was surprised to see Brittany, Santana, and Quinn waiting in the risers. She looked at them, curious as to why they were here so early, but shrugged it off as them wanting a quiet place to talk and began her warm ups after returning Brittany's sunshine smile with a shy one of her own.

Rachel felt the trio's stares all throughout her warm-ups, Glee club, and the journey home. The feeling of being watched only disappeared once she'd walked into her house and made it upstairs to her room. She fell onto her bed, tired, but happy to lose the feeling of being watched.

**#RQSB#**

Brittany had made Santana and Quinn promise to meet her in the choir room during their free period after she'd realized they would be late to class if she explained right after the slushy incident. Santana and Quinn were drained when they finally got to the choir room and slumped into chairs.

They had spent the day enforcing the new Rachel policy, aka the 'leave the girl in argyle the fuck alone' policy. Trying to make numbskull jocks understand the words coming out of their mouths was something neither was ever going to like doing.

Brittany kissed them both, little pecks on the lips, just enough to perk them up. After untangling herself from Santana's grabby hands, Brittany stood in front of Santana and Quinn, hands on her hips.

"Something's wrong with Rachel."

The other two groaned.

"Britt, we just spent the better part of this day beating up jocks, whose ass do I have to beat now?"

Brittany frowned a little, why were Santana and Quinn beating up jocks? Quinn answered her thought and Brittany wondered for a second if the head cheerleader could read her mind.

"Most of them don't want to follow the new 'leave Rachel alone' policy so I think the real question is who do we have to beat up again?"

Brittany smiled at that.

"Aww. You did that for Rachel?"

Santana and Quinn blushed and nodded. Brittany smiled at them, giving both of them hugs. Glad that they were defending Rachel.

"Now who do we have to beat up, Britt?"

Brittany frowned again, not at Santana, but at the question she had asked.

"Nobody's hurt Rachel since this morning's slushy attack."

"Then what's wrong with Berry?" Santana sighed.

Brittany's frown deepened and her voice took on a slight edge, confusion and the hint of a whine.

"I don't know."

Santana and Quinn exchanged a look. Anyone else would have been brushed off or laughed at Brittany while they explained that they must be hallucinating, because while Rachel had off days, there was never really anything wrong with her besides her diva attitude and lack of fashion sense. But this was Brittany and Brittany knew a whole lot more than most people gave her credit for, especially about other human beings. The blonde dancer was not stupid, just a little slow and more in tune with nature.

"What's the plan, Britt?"

Brittany smiled hesitantly.

"Friendship."

Santana and Quinn nodded. They had talked about it before, how they wanted to befriend Rachel but weren't sure when it would be a good idea, and now the plans they had talked about were finally going to be put into action. Hopefully Rachel would realize they were serious and find it in her heart to forgive them for past instances of popularity induced stupidity.

**#RQSB#**

During Glee, Santana and Quinn paid more attention to Rachel, it was still discreet, but they also weren't as worried about getting caught this time. Now that they were paying attention they too noticed that Rachel was putting on a show for everyone, instead of being herself. The cracks showed in the edge of a bandage barely visible beneath her shirt, the dark purple and blue smudges under Rachel's eyes, and her less verbose speech. Not enough change for most people to even notice, much less to notice that something was wrong.

When she'd seen the smudged make up and what she assumed were bruises Quinn had been beyond furious, thinking someone had given Rachel a black eye. Santana calmed her down with a hand on her thigh as she whisper-explained the differences between black eyes and lack of sleep.

What made all three girls' blood boil was that no one else in Glee club seemed to notice, including Finn, who couldn't stop staring after Rachel like a lost puppy. If the boy had at least noticed that something was wrong they might have been more lenient about his staring, but as he continued to drool the tall quarterback moved to the top of the trio's list of people to kill.

They followed Rachel home in Santana's car and only went back to their house once they had reassured themselves that Rachel was safe in her house. She may not know it yet but the small diva was under the trio's protection and they took that very seriously. Nobody was going to mess with _their _diva. And if someone did they would face the consequences.

**##RQSB##**


	2. Chapter 2

**AN:**

**Ok. Thanks go to everyone that reviewed/alerted/whatever fanfic lets you do. It was really encouraging and kicking my butt into gear isn't so hard of a task anymore. **

**No matter what this will end, even if it ends badly, because my number one pet peeve on this site is the amount of unfinished stories, so do not worry, a resolution will come, just probably not as quickly as we all hope. ;)**

**Oh, and as is probably apparent in the first paragraph Rachel is not particularly suicidal, she is more addicted to pain and the rush she gets from it.**

**Chapter 2:**

Rachel sunk into a scalding hot bubble bath, her head the only visible part of her body in a sea of white bubbles. She took a deep breath and slid down until her head disappeared below the water. The small diva held her breath until her lungs screamed for oxygen and multicolored dots flashed behind her eyelids. Rachel came up, gasping for air, and leaned back against the tub, relaxing into the rush she'd just given herself. This was better than painkillers, but not as good as her blades.

Morphine had been placed back in her medicine cabinet after she had looked inside the bottle to find it nearly empty. After Brittany's questions about her bandage, she knew that it was time to get more creative with her search for endorphins. More pointed questions would put her in the spot light and people might begin to notice that something was wrong. While she loved being in the spotlight any more questions about her wounds would be harmful to her act. She was torn over the subject, part of her wanted to keep it a secret, while another part knew she needed help, but the biggest part of her knew that it would not matter either way.

Once the water went from burning to just warmer than comfortable, Rachel sighed and got out, her skin tinged a hue more red than pink. She wrapped herself in a towel and went to her closet. She pulled on a pair of red basketball shorts and a sports bra before bandaging the cuts on her arm again. Pulling on a three quarter sleeve green shirt Rachel opened her medicine cabinet and took two over-the-counter painkillers for the pain in her arm.

While the pain reminded the small diva that she was alive, it was all about control, if the pain overwhelmed her it was not worth it. Without control, pain was nothing but an inconvenience.

Looking at her reflection, a smile graced her lips for a second as Rachel realized she was wearing Christmas colors. Christmas was the greatest time of the year according to the holiday songs. The smile was quickly replaced with a furrowed brow and slight frown at the thought of the holiday season, and how she spent it most years. Alone or surrounded by mountains of presents bought by money stained with guilt or indifference.

Sighing, she made her way downstairs, and after eyeing the food in the fridge, grabbed a granola bar and made a cup of tea. She did not want to eat, but she knew she had to. Hunger was the first thing she had learned to control. It had been the easiest and least noticeable way to start getting the rush she needed. Although hunger provided the smallest rush it was still a valid way to experience small doses feeling. The brunette curled up on the couch with her snack and watched reruns of sitcoms and cop dramas as she flipped through the channels.

When Rachel felt her eyes start to flutter shut, she gulped down the dregs of her tea, making a small face at the taste, before dragging herself back to her room.

She dropped onto the bed and buried herself under the covers as if she were trying to disappear into them. Not wanting to face the world right now, or even really ever again. Both hands wrapped tightly around a faded golden lion, clutching at it as if it was her lifeline. And for her that was what that lion was: her only lifeline.

**#RQSB#**

The trio was having a meeting, or that's what they would have told anyone who asked. Actually they would have told anyone that interrupted them to go the fuck away. The reality of what was going on was slightly more complicated.

Brittany was trying to keep Santana and Quinn from killing most of the Glee club, a task that they would most certainly relish. Brittany actually wanted to help them do it, but was morally against killing, so the argument had stalled. It had completely stopped when they realized that although killing Glee club would be satisfying, it would be detrimental to Rachel's plans. The diva had been basically foaming at the mouth to go to Nationals last year and they wouldn't be able to find two people, much less eight willing to join Glee club before it was time to compete.

Now they were debating on how to get Rachel to take them seriously when they asked her for her friendship. After turning down her offers of friendship countless times because they were scared of one thing or another, they would be surprised if Rachel actually let them near her.

They all agreed to be nicer to the tiny brunette and eventually Brittany agreed with the others that trying to court Rachel without at least the beginnings of a friendship would only cause her to be more guarded and on edge around them. Not to mention making her paranoid, trying to figure out what sort of prank they were trying to pull.

With their game plan settled, the girls snuggled into each other and fell asleep, filled with happiness in the knowledge that they were loved.

**#RQSB#**

The next day at school was surprisingly normal, no big changes or weird coincidences, just the everyday classes and boring schedule.

Rachel wondered why nobody slushied her, but was thankful for the reprieve as she restocked her slushy clean up kit with fresh towels and sets of extra clothes. She would enjoy this break as long as it lasted and prepare for the next slushy attack.

The only thing that blew Rachel's mind, and set alarm bells ringing in her head, was the trio's acknowledgement of her existence. Each of them had spoken to her courteously and when Brittany gave her a quick hug, she had to control her initial impulse to break the embrace.

Nobody had touched her so gently in so long that the contact was unfamiliar and slightly disconcerting. After Brittany bounded away, Rachel blinked dazedly and then wearily prepared herself mentally for whatever the trio was planning. They might not be the instigators most times, but every now and again they needed to reaffirm their hold on WMHS and the easiest way to do that was torment her.

It was a good day, if confusing day, which turned into a good, but confusing, week. The days dragging and flying by as the school days had a tendency to do.

By Friday, the trio had convinced Rachel that they actually wanted to be friends, and that this was not some cosmic joke or prank they were going to pull. So, the small singer had tentatively agreed to meet the trio in the choir room for lunch on Monday, wanting to start small and figuring that if nothing else she would be able to tell what they had planned quickly and plan her escape accordingly.

For Rachel, Saturday was spent reading, doing homework, listening to music, and just relaxing. It was Sunday that erased all those good days she had been having.

The mail had been sitting on the counter just piling up, what little of it there was. Most bills were direct withdrawals and there were not a lot of people who would send her mail. It was mostly subscriptions, for her and her dads, and occasionally a random envelope or postcard that was usually junk mail or a wrong address.

Finding a letter addressed to her, Rachel opened it and leaned against the counter to read it. Seeing that it was from her dads, the confusion she felt was replaced with despair. She read the type with a heavy heart. Reaching the end, Rachel let it drop to the counter top and walked over to the couch, collapsing on it. The emotions she was feeling overwhelming her small frame.

The feeling of disappointment was overwhelming. She was not surprised that her dads were not coming home, just depressingly disappointed that they had not called and would not be back for at least another three months. It would probably be closer to six months, if at all.

She had not seen them since summer time, the beginning of August, and she would be surprised if she saw them at Christmas, much less before that.

Rachel sat, staring at the blank slate of the TV screen until long after the sky darkened and shadows had criss-crossed the room. As the sun was about to set, she got up, turned on some lights and the radio, before proceeding to clean, as her mind wandered and raced. Trying to keep her body busy as her mind worked through all the thoughts in her head.

Finished with her thoughts and self assigned tasks for the day, Rachel curled up on her bedspread, staring at the blade clutched in her hand.

It was an extra blade taken from the unused tool box in the garage, inconspicuous and tediously normal. The bright blade was held hard enough to cause pain, but not draw blood.

Rachel lay like that for some time, contemplating the blade and her skin, while not really thinking of anything. Her mind wandered until, as if by some cue, she finally got up and walked into the bathroom, looking at herself in the mirror.

New red lines joined faded, fading, and almost completely healed ones on her upper left arm. All the scars eventually disappeared with some help from vitamin E and some kind of oil she'd picked up from an herb shop the last time she'd been in New York.

As she fell asleep the few thoughts in Rachel's head revolved around how soft her lion still was and how she was going to hide the new marks. As her mind shut down and she fell asleep the last thought to cross her mind was _who would even notice?_

**#RQSB#**

The trio considered their first week of trying to befriend Rachel Berry a success when she agreed to meet them for lunch on Monday. Brittany was the only one not surprised by the diva's quick acceptance of their offers. The small brunette had an enormous capacity to forgive, but the trio did not delude themselves in thinking she had forgotten the past.

The weekend was filled with plenty of sexy times and fun, not necessarily in that order. A picnic at the duck pond continued a weekend ritual that all three hoped would last forever. They all planned on living life to the fullest; after all, having your parents ignore you or kick you out kind of gave you a new perspective on life.

As they fell asleep on Sunday, all three thought that this near perfect weekend was a good omen and could not wait to see what would happen during the week. Little did they know that the next day would not go as well as they hoped.

**#RQSB#**

Monday dawned bright and early, greeting the Cheerios as they assembled for morning practice on the football field. The trio was a clique within a clique, ruling the upper echelon of the high school hierarchy with an iron fist.

After stretching out and showering, the three Cheerios went looking for the small diva. They wanted to say "hi" and reaffirm their plans for lunch. Taking in Rachel's appearance they all reacted. The first thought through their heads were something along the lines of "what happened to Rachel over the weekend" before they started wondering why they were the only ones that noticed when a couple of other glee members walked right by the brunette without a glance.

Santana growled, immediately wanting to find out who had done this and make them bleed, a lot, hopefully enough to kill them slowly. Quinn gasped, hugging herself while wishing her arms were wrapped around Rachel instead. Brittany frowned, understanding that lunch would go differently than they had planned and wishing that whatever had happened to Rachel never had.

A sweater was nothing to be worried about, but with it sticking to her upper arm, it was something that set off alarms in their heads. The black shadows that usually haunted the space under Rachel's eyes had blossomed into zombie looking circles that even her make up only barely camouflaged.

Her outfit, although still argyle, was baggier than usual. The sleeves hung past her hands and her skirt extended past her knees. It was as if Rachel swam in, instead of wore, her clothing. Although all three girls wanted to take her shopping for new clothes, the small diva usually wore clothes that fit, even if they looked like they were from a Good Will.

Rachel Berry looked like death warmed over barely enough to be considered undead, much less alive.

Brittany slowly walked over to the singer, gently resting her hand on the sweater covered shoulder, pretending to ignore the flinch, and then proceeded to wrap the girl in a firm, warm, but also soft and delicate embrace. Seeming to know without being told, that anything too confining would send the brunette over the edge.

Rachel took a deep breath and nearly broke into tears. With almost all of her fast-fleeing self-control, the brunette gave Brittany a genuine smile that shook slightly as she slowly pulled out of the embrace and headed to class. The blonde went in the other direction, knowing that following Rachel would only get them both in trouble and also needing to get control over her own emotions.

Santana and Quinn followed Brittany to the locker room where the blonde dancer fell into their arms, sobbing. Santana held Brittany tightly, rubbing soothing circles into her back as Quinn ran her fingers through blonde hair and whispered soothing words into the dancer's ear.

"We have to help her," Brittany said, voice cracking.

Quinn and Santana nodded, silently agreeing, as they held Brittany until she stopped crying.

**#RQSB#**

Rachel made her way through the day, trying to act as close to her "normal" self as she could. When the bell rang for lunch she went to her locker, exchanged her books, and grabbed her lunch before heading towards the choir room. She half expected that none of the trio would show up, but the choir room was where she usually ate lunch anyway.

Surprise was her dominant emotion for the first time in a long time when she found the Cheerios not only waiting, but putting the finishing touches on a table set for four.

The look on the diva's face was priceless. Shock, awe, a large dose of surprise, and a mix of other emotions were evident on her features. The first real emotions she had unintentionally shown at school in quite a while.

Quinn smiled brightly, and Santana smirked at the diva's reaction to their surprise. Brittany was already smiling and bouncing slightly in her seat on the bottom row of risers when Rachel entered the room, as she had been too excited to be of much help. Her happiness only increased with Rachel's reaction, clapping her hands together until Santana gently clasped the blonde's hands in her own.

The blonde head Cheerio walked over to Rachel and uncurled her fingers from around the strap of her bag, taking it from her and setting it on the risers. She then led the still speechless brunette to the table and pulled out a chair for her. Rachel plopped onto the chair, still in shock, as Santana held out a chair for Brittany before helping Quinn bring over the food.

Brittany smiled at Rachel from across the table, and got a small smile in return. The blonde dancer squealed as a plate was set before her, giving Quinn a kiss on the cheek in thanks. Across the table Santana set a plate in front of Rachel, who was glancing between all three girls and the plate in front of her as if expecting someone to tell her that this was a dream or at least some cosmic joke.

The plates were laden with spaghetti and a salad littered with cucumbers, tomatoes, and half a garden of other vegetables. Quinn set a basket of hot fluffy breadsticks and a bowl of fresh fruit in the middle of the table as Santana set a plate in front of both empty seats. The Latina sighed in relief as Quinn sat down with her back to the door and she took the last open seat, with her back to a wall.

Lunch ran smoother than anyone had expected, but only after the trio was treated with a glare from the diva when they tried to bring up her state of being. Apparently some topics were off limits.

Instead, they chatted about Glee club and classes until the bell rang. By the time lunch ended, Rachel was relaxed enough that she gave the trio her number so that they could make plans for after school or on the weekends. All three gave her quick heartfelt hugs. The singer had to fight tears, her emotions split and on overload because of the three cheerleaders innocent gesture.

The trio smiled at each other as they cleaned up the choir room. They were making progress. Rachel was beginning to trust them, and hopefully they would be able to convince her that they wanted to help her, and exhibit the traits that made them great friends. They could only pray that the past year would not come back and bite them.

**##RQSB##**


	3. Chapter 3

**AN: OK. I'm sick, just got back from seeing family and am about to take off for parts unknown on vacation with my immediate family. So, sorry about any confusion, I'm not even technically sure what I'm posting besides what I have marked as chapter 3. Anyway I won't be able to post for a week, unless something happens to change plans, but I will be typing once I get better and can stop getting a headache every time I look at a computer for longer than 5 minutes. In the mean time I'm kicking it old school (my favorite) with a pencil and notebook when I'm coherent and not on OTCs (over the counter medication). Hope ya'll are well. Night. **

**Chapter 3:**

A month passed.

The trio developed a friendship with Rachel and the petite diva had discovered the wonder of having actual friends.

She had been over to visit the apartment the three cheerleaders were renting and the trio was at Rachel's house frequently, staying over about three to four days a week. Santana usually took Rachel to her voice lessons, Brittany accompanied the singer to her dance lessons, and Quinn usually did her homework outside of the small diva's acting classes. In between all their activities it was hard to find time to just hang out but that was Rachel's favorite time.

When the final football game of the season came around Rachel decided she was going to ask the trio to move into her house. She had been debating the pros and cons of asking for over a week and there was a flock of nervous butterflies in her stomach that would not calm down.

The brunette diva no longer thought that this was an elaborate joke, those fears had been crushed during the first week of their friendship; this was a different type of nervousness.

Rachel was nervous because she was not sure about the reaction she would get, or even which reaction she was hoping for. 'No' would mean they did not trust her, while 'yes' meant that there was a greater chance of them figuring out her secret.

Rachel pulled on a pair of jeans and her black t-shirt that read: _Duck tape is like the force, it has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the universe together_. She grinned at her reflection in the mirror. Brittany had bought the shirt for her when the trio had first found out about her Star Wars obsession. Quinn had gotten her a grey one with: _Aren't you a little short to be a storm trooper?_ on the back and two storm troopers on the front. Santana had gotten her a dark green v-neck with an ewok on it.

Rachel reluctantly tried to pull herself out of her memories, a smile seeming to be firmly affixed to her face as she continued to be immersed in memories.

In her freshman year, Rachel had gone to one game, a basketball game, and had been slushied on her way out of the school. The first time she had gone to a football game with the Cheerios she had sat in the far back corner, closest to the parking lot, so that she could see not only the game but have easy access to her various escape routes as well.

That night had been the real start of her friendship with the trio. After the game the three Cheerios had quickly changed, went over to collect her before the stadium even became empty, and had escorted her back to her house.

The four of them had then spent the night having a sleepover. They watched movies, did each other's nails, gossiped about school, talked about deeper topics, and basically had a girls' night in.

It was the first girls' night of Rachel Berry's life. Ever.

Shaking herself from those memories as well, Rachel went downstairs and got into her daddy's truck, slowly driving herself to the game. Brittany's varsity jacket lay across the passenger seat. The blonde had refused to take it back after Rachel had borrowed it at the second game she had attended, saying that Rachel needed it and she could handle the cold. After watching the tall dancer not even shiver for the past few weeks, Rachel was inclined to agree with her, but she still kept an extra hoodie in the truck and always brought at least two blankets, just in case.

Rachel made it to WMHS in time to meet Santana and Brittany in front of the school. The two Cheerios were already decked out in their uniforms and their pom-poms lay nearby, ready to be scooped up and used to incite the crowd.

Brittany smiled and picked Rachel up in a hug while Santana looked on with a soft smile on her face. Once the blonde had put the diva down, Santana pulled the brunette into a hug as well. When Santana finally released her, Rachel grabbed the bag that had fallen to the ground when Brittany had hugged her, and straightened the hang of Brittany's varsity jacket on her small frame.

"Where's Quinn?"

"Being talked at by our fearsome leader," Santana responded as she picked up the four pom-poms from the sidewalk and led the way into the stadium while Brittany linked arms with Rachel and questioned the small diva about what she had planned for tonight. All Rachel did in response to Brittany's questions was to blush slightly and let out part of a nervous laugh, not sure what to say. She hadn't been able to think past asking the trio to move into her house.

The two Cheerios escorted Rachel to her now "reserved" spot, two rows back and directly in front of where the Cheerios usually performed their routine. It offered a good view of the scoreboard and was tucked into a small corner as the bleachers were separated into smaller sections by two foot high partitions.

They waited until Rachel got situated, helping the diva pull out a blanket and some refreshments, before "stealing" three cookies, one for each of them including Quinn, and headed down to where the varsity football team and Cheerios were mingling. Rachel smiled at their antics as they bounded down the stairs toward Quinn, who waved at her from the field.

A happy sigh left her lips as she leaned back against the chilly metal, protected from the cold by Brittany's jacket, and arranged her blanket.

Having friends, being accepted, was the best feeling she had ever experienced, something that would never become old, and she wanted to hold onto that feeling for as long as possible. Hopefully tonight would not mess that up.

**#RQSB#**

WMHS won the last football game of the regular season 28 to 24. The football team celebrated right on the field, hugging each other and grinning like fools as plans were made for parties later that night and over the weekend. Most of the Cheerios were mingling with the football players, getting numbers and congratulating them on a good game.

A few people from both the Cheerios and the football team made their way to the locker rooms, ecstatic to have won the game, but more eager to get home, either to loved ones or a warm bed, in most cases both. The trio was among those headed to the locker room, dodging invitations and grabby hands as most of the players celebrated, intoxicated by their victory.

Santana had punched or pushed at least a dozen people by the time she was able to herd Quinn and Brittany into the locker room, all of them on a natural high from the game and hoping that tonight would continue that streak of happiness.

Half an hour later, the trio emerged from the locker room, freshly showered, dressed in jeans and t-shirts, with grins plastered onto their faces. They made their way over to Rachel's spot, where the brunette always stayed seated until they showed up and escorted her out, since the small diva did not like crowds of people. People in a crowd tended to push her around and generally ignored the singer because of her small stature, making it one of her least favorite situations to be in.

Smiles instantly became frowns when, instead of finding a smiling Rachel Berry full of congratulations, or sympathy depending on the outcome of the game, as had been the case for every other game, they found instead a folded blanket next to Rachel's bag, with the container of cookies on top. Santana and Quinn were about to head in opposite directions to look for her, leaving Brittany to repeatedly call the small brunette and hope she came back, when they all heard a whimper.

The sound echoed slightly, but they turned and ran in the same direction, dread making them hope they were wrong about who made that whimper. They made it to where Rachel was sprawled out on the blacktop underneath the bleachers in less than a minute. Brittany was a few steps in front of the others, and she pulled herself to a stop by Rachel's head, collapsing to the ground beside her. Quinn and Santana skidded to a halt as they caught sight of Rachel, leaving them both stunned and furious.

Rachel was barely conscious, blood covered her clothing from cuts on her face and, while it was hard to tell what the rest of her body looked like, if her face was any indication, it would look like a purple and black explosion.

Brittany touched the diva's forearm to try and get her attention. The small brunette whimpered again. Rachel then curled into herself a little bit more, clearly in pain and afraid.

"Shh. It's Brittany. Your safe, Rachel, I promise."

Rachel seemed to relax slightly at that and nodded slightly to convey that she understood what Brittany was saying. The blonde dancer stroked her hair as she gave the other two orders.

"Quinn, go to the car and place a blanket over the backseat, you're driving."

The blonde took off without another word.

"Santana, go get Rachel's things from the bleachers, we're going to need her other blanket to keep her warm. And grab anything you might need from your car."

Santana nodded and raced back up to the bleachers. Brittany refocused on Rachel.

"We're going to get you out of here and make you feel better, ok Rach?"

Brittany wasn't really expecting a response but was glad when the brunette's head nodded.

"Ok. I'm going to have to pick you up and move you to the car."

Rachel nodded again as Brittany crouched beside the small diva and scooped her up, holding the brunette close to her chest as gently as possible while maintaining a good grip. The tall blonde walked slowly towards Quinn's car and placed Rachel in the backseat, covering her with the blanket handed to her by Santana. Brittany knelt beside Rachel in the backseat and Santana shut the back door before going to sit in the passenger seat.

As soon as all the doors were closed, Quinn took off, trying to drive as carefully as possible while getting to the hospital as quickly as possible, obeying all the traffic laws, but cursing them under her breath.

Rachel passed out as they entered the hospital parking lot, losing her tenuous grip on consciousness. Santana was the first out of the car jumping out while the car was still moving, heading straight to the ER while Quinn parked. Right after she finished parking, the head Cheerio rushed out to open the rear passenger door and help Brittany get out of the car. The blonde dancer then picked up Rachel and carried her toward the ER doors.

As Brittany entered, with Quinn not far behind her, they found Santana arguing with one of the nurses. When the nurse saw Rachel, she stopped arguing and called over a gurney, and then tried to take Rachel from Brittany. Santana and Quinn both winced as they stepped up to flank Brittany, knowing that this would probably end badly.

The nurse tried to tug Rachel out of Brittany's arms, but the blonde refused to let go.

"I need to take your friend."

Double wince again as Santana and Quinn saw the dancer tense and tighten her hold on Rachel. Not the right thing to say to Brittany when she was being protective. A growl erupted from Brittany's lips as she tightened her grip on Rachel, while still trying not to hurt the diva. Luckily, Rachel regained consciousness and snuggled deeper into Brittany with a whimper when she felt hands trying to tug her away.

The nurse heard and released the brunette.

"Rachel?" she asked, glancing at the Latina that had been arguing with her moments before for confirmation. Santana nodded.

"Rachel." the nurse called a little louder, trying to get the brunette's attention.

Rachel turned to face the nurse while still curling herself as far into Brittany's arms as she could manage.

"We need to take you to an exam room."

"They come with."

The words were said so quietly and the four people surrounding the diva could barely hear them. The nurse sighed.

"Ok. But you have to come with me for some tests. We need to see how bad you're hurt." Rachel nodded and curled her face back into Brittany. The nurse sighed again and motioned the gurney back before leading the way towards the exam rooms.

"Only one of you can come to the tests with her."

Brittany immediately followed the nurse with Rachel still in her arms while Santana and Quinn began pacing around the exam room.

Half an hour later, Brittany and Rachel were in an overnight room, Santana and Quinn hovering by the door. The small brunette was tucked into the bed, her eyes drooping as the trio tried to keep her awake. The nurse came back an hour later with the scans and a doctor, who explained that Rachel had a fractured wrist and multiple cuts and bruises all over her body. No concussion, but the small brunette was going to be kept overnight just to be safe.

Quinn took Rachel to get her cast while Santana and Brittany moved into the room that they'd be staying in. The doctor had stopped arguing with Santana and Brittany about hospital policy only after several threats had been issued, and Brittany had glared him into submission.

Brittany curled up in Santana's arms as they lay on the couch by the window. Quinn tucked Rachel back into bed and the rest of the night passed quietly. The only sounds to be heard were those of the trio switching places as they each took turns sitting by the brunette's hospital bed, watching over their diva.

**##RQSB##**


	4. Chapter 4

**AN:**

**This is kind of just fluff. Something I am fond of, just a little. **

**Oh. Little side note. Rachel is not vegan, well she was at one point but not anymore, she's more vegetarian and will eventually be dropping back into the world of omnivores. Sorry if that makes anyone unhappy but it was kind of a side effect to something I wanted to do with this story. Rachel will love animals with a passion though.**

**Chapter 4:**

The Saturday sun dawned in a blaze of bright orange that woke Rachel up as it streamed through the window above the couch where Quinn was holding Brittany. She looked around and found Santana asleep in a chair with her hand clutching Rachel's.

As soon as Rachel tried to move her hand, Santana tightened her grip and her head popped up, her free hand reached up and started rubbing her eyes.

"Are you ok?"

Rachel smiled a little at Santana's quiet question.

"I will be."

Santana grinned.

**#RQSB#**

Rachel grumbled as Quinn pushed the wheelchair she had been forced into down the sterilized halls of the hospital. Santana was holding open the back door of Quinn's car as they came out the ER doors. Brittany picked her up and placed her in the back seat, this time upright instead of lying down.

The drive to Rachel's house was filled with Rachel complaining about the restrictions placed on her by the hospital, intermingled with proclamations that she could take care of herself. Santana and Quinn tried to suppress grins and giggles as Brittany patiently explained to Rachel multiple times, that the doctors had their reasons, and that she would not have been left alone anyway.

They arrived safely and Santana carried Rachel inside, despite the tiny diva's continuous complaints, while Quinn brought in the blankets and pain medication. The Latina settled the still-talking brunette onto the couch before disappearing into the kitchen. Rachel pouted, thinking she'd been deserted when Brittany and Quinn went upstairs. The diva moodily flipped through the TV channels.

Twenty minutes passed and Rachel was just about to go looking for some food when Brittany came downstairs with an oversized T-shirt and a pair of basketball shorts. Quinn followed close behind with a stack of musicals.

Rachel stared at them in shock until Brittany started to undress her.

"Can I have some privacy?" Rachel squeaked as she pulled Brittany's hands away from her clothes.

"Sure," Brittany said with a smile as she bounced off the couch. "C'mon Quinn, let's go help San."

Quinn nodded but turned toward Rachel before following the other blonde into the kitchen.

"If you need help, ask, we're just in the other room." The blonde fixed Rachel with a soft glare so that the small brunette would understand that she was serious.

Rachel nodded to show she understood. After Quinn left the room, a small smile graced Rachel's face as she awkwardly changed into the new, comfortable, clothes.

Someone cared.

**#RQSB#**

Santana loved to cook. Her middle school home economics teacher had jokingly referred to her as the organic bomb maker.

She had been paired with Puck and the nickname had proved to be an apt description of her time in the class. Santana had taken the recipes they'd been given and improved on them, half the time creating whatever was on the menu for the day even better than the teacher. Puck on the other hand had caused explosions at least twice a week.

After the class, she'd continued cooking and it was now a major stress reliever, as evidenced by the brownies in the oven, the soup made from scratch on the stove, and the scrambled eggs she was adding spices to as she turned off the heat.

"How can we help?" Brittany asked as she hugged Santana and placed a kiss on her cheek.

The Latina turned around as Brittany let go and hummed a few notes with a smile on her face. Quinn giggled from her seat at the counter as she recognized the opening of the _Devil Wears Prada_.

"Well Quinn can make us egg sandwiches while you get out the ingredients for rice crispy treats."

Brittany squealed and went to the cupboard as Quinn started toasting the bread. Santana stirred and tasted the soup before adding some salt and a quarter cup of water. Brittany came back and Santana walked her through the measuring of ingredients as the Latina made half a dozen grilled cheese sandwiches.

Quinn handed Santana bacon as she took the plate of grilled cheese and cut them into triangles before taking over the rice crispy making from Brittany. The blonde dancer turned off the oven, on Santana's orders, before going into the living room to ask Rachel what she wanted to drink.

Brittany walked back into the kitchen to find Quinn devouring her second bacon and egg sandwich as Santana munched on half of the last one while attempting to stir the rice crispy treat mix. The dancer bit down on the other half of the egg sandwich as she poured Rachel a glass of ice tea. Quinn requested a glass as well while Santana walked over and grabbed a can of Dr. Pepper.

Brittany filled her glass with water and took Rachel her ice tea. Quinn brought out bowls of soup, and after Santana closed the window in the kitchen and put the dirty pans in soapy water, she carried out the plate of grilled cheese.

Throughout the meal the girls talked about favorite foods and dinner options. It was decided, after everyone voiced an appreciation of salmon, that Santana would grill the favored fish for dinner. The Latina half-heartedly protested for all of thirty seconds before giving in. She would do anything for her girls and it wasn't as if cooking was a trial.

After brunch Rachel directed Santana to the credit card reserved for food and snuggled into Brittany as they watched _RENT_.

The tiny brunette made it through most of the movie, but crashed hard at the end of Roger and Mark's strange cross-country duet.

Quinn stayed with Rachel as Santana and Brittany went to the apartment for extra clothes and school supplies before stopping at the grocery store and getting everything on the list they'd made earlier. It took them six trips to get everything out of the car, most of it groceries.

Rachel was still asleep, so Santana set up the grill and talked Quinn into taking her for propane and to pick up her car. By the time Quinn got back, Brittany had coaxed Rachel awake, so they started on the weekend's homework. Santana started on dinner as soon as she got back. She let the salmon marinate while she worked on homework with the others and around 6:30 Santana fired up the grill.

Half an hour later dinner was served. Santana got so many compliments from the three girls that she started blushing and the compliments soon turned to teasing. Dinner conversation was light and mostly centered the topic of school.

After dinner, Rachel insisted on a walk around the neighborhood, explaining to the trio that she was not an invalid in a slightly antagonistic tone. They had agreed to allow the singer to take a walk as long as all four of them went.

Rachel sighed and rolled her eyes.

"Of course you are coming with me," the diva said as she rose from the couch. Only to fall right back down on it because her legs felt like Jell-O.

Brittany giggled slightly as Quinn helped Rachel back up.

The sun was just setting as the foursome walked around the neighborhood and it had completely set by the time they ambled back into the house twenty minutes later.

The leisurely excursion had been just what Rachel needed because she took her pain medication without a fuss and was out fifteen minutes into Wall-E. Brittany snuggled closer to Santana and continued watching as Quinn carried the out cold diva upstairs and tucked her into bed.

Finding a patched lion at the end of the bed and hearing the brunette whimper, Quinn slid the stuffed animal underneath the covers and into Rachel's arms, amazed at the fact that it immediately caused Rachel relax.

The trio finished the movie and locked up for the night before filing into the guestroom Rachel had insisted they use whenever they slept over. Ten minutes later the trio was fast asleep and cuddled together in the middle of the bed.

The house was peaceful through the night for the first time in a long time.

**#RQSB#**

Rachel woke up slowly, groggy from the pain medication.

Last night flashed through her head in disjointed images as the hot water of the shower woke her up. By the time she had gotten dressed and started down the stairs Rachel had shaken off the loopy after-effects of the codeine the doctors had given her.

Rachel had tried to talk the doctor into giving her morphine or at least something with fewer side effects. She had ground her teeth when he patted her head as if she were five years old and told her not to worry her pretty little head.

Santana had to hold Brittany back as Quinn verbally assaulted the doctor. He had chuckled and shook his head before placing the prescription bottle on the desk and walking out. The only reason the three cheerleaders had not followed the idiot and torn him into itty-bitty pieces was because Rachel had slumped into Santana and professed that she could not stand another minute in the hospital.

The brunette's smile grew as she thought back on all the ways the three girls had shown her that they cared about her. Nobody had shown her this much affection since…

Two minutes later, Rachel gave up on trying to remember the last instance of affection and embraced the happiness of having someone, or rather multiple someones, care about her now.

**#RQSB#**

Santana woke up on Sunday morning with a smile on her face. She spent twenty minutes watching Brittany and Quinn sleep before tiptoeing through the house and into the backyard.

After an intense workout, the Latina slipped back into the house and woke up Quinn with a kiss before stepping into the shower. Quinn's movements woke Brittany who curled around the other blonde tightly before letting the head cheerleader get out of bed.

Quinn headed outside to start her own workout regimen as Santana came out of the shower. Brittany pouted until the Latina gave her a kiss and headed downstairs to make breakfast. The blonde slipped into the shower before going downstairs to keep Santana company.

Santana frowned at the Berry's store-bought pancake mix, controlling the impulse to throw it out as she went through the cupboard for pancake ingredients so she could make them from scratch. She had just thrown away the trial batch when Brittany bounced down the stairs; hair still wet, and gave her a kiss on the cheek before setting the table.

Quinn came in from the backyard, still sweaty from exercising. Catching sight of Brittany, a mischievous grin crossed the head Cheerio's face and she chased Brittany around the house, trying to give her a hug.

They both collapsed into a fit of giggles at the bottom of the stairs just as Rachel was stepping down the stairs, making her jump a few to escape their antics. The brunette just grinned and shook her head at them.

Entering the kitchen, Rachel found Santana pouring pancake batter onto a griddle and squealed with delight. She hugged Santana as she whispered in the taller brunette's ear,

"Best breakfast ever."

Rachel tensed as Santana did not respond immediately and started to pull away, but the cheerleader pulled Rachel closer before she could do that. Wrapping her arm around the diva, Santana brought her in as close as possible while still flipping pancakes with the spatula in her other hand.

They stayed like that until the pancakes were done, Rachel cuddled into Santana's side, and both girls with grins splitting their faces. Santana flipped the pancakes onto a plate, and with a kiss to the shorter brunette's forehead, sent her to the counter to eat.

Rachel smiled and shyly stood on tiptoe so she could kiss Santana's cheek.

Brittany came back in and sat down next to Rachel, smothering her own plate of pancakes in butter and syrup. Rachel and Brittany talked in between bites, liberally showering Santana with compliments as they devoured pancake after pancake as fast as they could come off the griddle.

The Latina blushed and just kept making more with a smile on her face and occasionally humming a few bars of whichever song popped into her head.

Quinn bounded down the stairs not long after and hugged Rachel, kissed Brittany and Santana on the cheek, and grabbed the plate of bacon next to the stove.

Breakfast was a fun affair for all. Quinn "guarded" her bacon from Brittany while Santana used the last half of the batter to make fun shapes instead of circles. Rachel called out suggestions to Santana and Brittany couldn't stop grinning. All of them were laughing because of the antics that were going on.

Brittany looked over the girls as she bit into her last pancake. Her family was happy and safe, that was all she really needed.

**#RQSB#**

After cleaning up the kitchen, the four girls grabbed their homework and headed outside to enjoy the clear autumn air. They crowded around one side of the patio table, offering help to each other when it was needed and generally just enjoying the good weather and each other's company.

By lunch time all the homework was done and Santana had been told to pick out a movie whilst the other three made sandwiches.

Santana smiled as she ran her fingers down the spines of DVDs and VHSs. She stopped at one and smirked as she slid it into the DVD player; it was an older favorite of hers. The previews started as Rachel came out of the kitchen with a plate of PB&J. Brittany and Quinn followed with drinks.

When the DVD menu popped up Rachel glanced quizzically at Santana as Brittany snuggled closer to the Latina.

"Jurassic Park?"

Santana nodded and hit play.

Rachel sat next Quinn on the love seat as Santana and Brittany stretched out on the couch. They whiled away the afternoon watching _Jurassic Park_ and _Jaws_, debating on how they would have acted and yelling at the people on screen, generally calling them stupid.

After _Jaws,_ Quinn made mac & cheese and the laid back day was complete. The three Cheerios badgered Rachel until she took her pain medication, as the diva had refused to take it after breakfast. Brittany tucked Rachel in while Quinn and Santana talked about what they were going to do the next day.

"We don't have school but coach said practice was from one 'til five," Quinn said as they straightened up the living room.

"We're not leaving Rachel alone." Santana said, carrying the cups into the kitchen.

"She can find something to do for four hours right?" Quinn asked as she placed their bowls in the sink.

"She will. I'm not letting her out of my sight for longer than twenty minutes when we're outside of this house."

Quinn nodded as they heard Brittany come down the stairs. They talked for a little longer before heading to bed.

Brittany curled into Quinn as Santana embraced them both.

The trio fell asleep content, if a little apprehensive about what would happen when school started on Tuesday.

**##RQSB##**


	5. Chapter 5

**AN: I start college and I'm moving into the dorm soon so not only will my writing be curtailed, but I will not be able to post for at least a week. Do not worry, until I have no more ideas left or end this story I will be updating at least once a month, and if I don't update within a month I will give a reason on why I'm such a despicable person. **

**Fair? I think so.**

**Oh. And yes, I know this is short, but it is a cross between fluff and show and tell, this gives the characters a little break before the rest of angst shows up.**

**Enjoy.**

**Chapter 5:**

As the sun rose over the horizon, Rachel was gripped in the ugly claws of a repeating nightmare. Whimpers escaped the brunette's mouth as she clutched the lion closer and curled into herself, looking for comfort and not finding any.

It was not a sound that woke Brittany, but a feeling. She checked the two girls sleeping with her and her phone, surprised to find no missed calls and nothing out of place.

"Rachel," Brittany breathed as the feeling intensified and she realized she that the only person left was the small brunette.

The girls on either side of her jolted awake at Brittany's whisper and copied Brittany's actions, checking each other and their phones before all three exchanged a look.

They bolted for Rachel's room, bursting through the door looking like a tripped out version of Charlie's Angels. The noise from the door hitting the wall made the three girls flinch, but did not wake the diva, instead seeming to play right into the nightmare she was trapped in.

The trio circled Rachel's bed, Brittany near the tiny singer's head, running her fingers through Rachel's hair, which seemed to calm the brunette down a little.

"Quinn, wake her up."

"Why?" the blonde asked her counterpart quizzically. Brittany was closer, why didn't she just do it?

"Because if either Santana or I are the first thing she sees, we'll only frighten her more."

Taking in the thunderous scowls on the other two's faces, Quinn nodded and placed her hand on Rachel's shoulder, shaking it gently.

"Rachel, Rachel," the blonde called softly. "C'mon Rachel, time to wake up."

Rachel sat up at Quinn's first touch, terrified, eyes wide open and darting around the room as she tried to escape from the confining covers.

Santana caught the tiny singer as she lunged off the bed while still entangled in her covers.

"Shh," the Latina whispered into Rachel's ear. "It's okay, estrella, I got you."

Santana continued to whisper calm words of comfort into Rachel's ear, holding her close, until the small girl stopped trembling and calmed down enough to relax into Santana's hug. Brittany and Quinn stayed perfectly still, mostly in shock, but partially because they knew any movement could set off a secondary panic attack.

Around thirty minutes later, Rachel had dozed off in Santana's arms. The Latina managed to move the singer back into bed, but when she tried to move away, Rachel's grasp only tightened around Santana and mumbled mangled words that the three girls interpreted as, "Don't leave." accompanied by a whimper.

Santana stopped trying to move away after that and instead curled around Rachel protectively, allowing the small singer to cuddle into her side.

The clock read 5:47.

The trio attempted to go back to sleep. The blondes cuddled together at the end of Rachel's bed; no one wanted to leave Rachel alone. They fell asleep fairly quickly; soft breathing sounds reached Santana's ears within twenty minutes. Santana kept a watchful eye on Rachel for another half hour before sleep conquered her.

For a few more hours, peace reigned.

**#RQSB#**

Rachel woke up cocooned by a warm body. At first she thought it was a dream, the first one she'd had in over a year. Nightmares didn't count. That was until she opened her eyes and saw the dark purple cast on her arm.

The singer tried to turn around and see who held her, but the arms around her tightened and mumbled Spanish sounded close to her ear.

Seconds later, Santana yawned and stretched, allowing Rachel to turn around.

"Good morning, Santana."

"Morning, Tiny," Santana said as her jaw cracked around a yawn.

Rachel cursed her pain medication as disjointed images and memories reordered themselves into normalcy.

"How are you this morning?" Santana asked as she replaced her arms around Rachel.

The singer shrugged slightly, still waiting for all of her memories to come back and realign.

"Well if you want to talk, I'm here, ok?"

Rachel nodded.

Santana sighed softly and kissed Rachel on the forehead.

Brittany bounced through the open door before the one sided conversation could continue.

"We've got food downstairs and you better hurry up because it's after eleven."

Santana groaned as Rachel gasped.

"How is it after eleven? I set my alarm for nine!"

Brittany smiled.

"We turned off your alarm to let you sleep."

"Yeah. You're gonna spend hours watching coach kill us, why wake up early?" Santana's muffled voice came from under the pillow she had pulled over her head.

Brittany giggled and pulled the Latina out of the bed, making Rachel giggle until Santana glared at her.

"You're in for it now Berry." Santana said as she pounced on the bed and began tickling the smaller brunette.

Brittany joined in and they had a tickle war until a piercing whistle stopped them. Quinn stood smirking in the doorway.

"As much as I love watching this, we need to eat and get to practice."

The three girls looked at each other before Santana bolted for the bathroom while Brittany glomped Quinn into the hallway.

Rachel just lay in bed, trying to catch her breath and still giggling slightly. Maybe she could wake up like this every day? Rachel could only hope so; this was the quickest she'd ever been able to get over a nightmare

**##RQSB##**


	6. Chapter 6

**AN:**

**I have kind of hit a minor stumbling block with this story, but don't worry it's just a scene I'm not particularly fond of and am having trouble getting it to work right.**

**Oh, and just a little side note. Things will probably happen on Tuesdays, and most, if not all of them will not be good. Because we all know that the world is going to end on a Tuesday. If you do not get that reference I shake my head at you.**

**Fair warning I did make the Glee kids mean, eventually I might get around to making some of them nicer, but for now we are working under the assumption they all pretty much hate Rachel.**

**Anyway, I hope you like, although I guess you could call this a cliff hanger, kind of.**

**Chapter 6:**

Tuesday Rachel woke up clear headed and with a smile on her face. The trio was officially moving in with her after school today.

As she remembered how it had been decided, Rachel's smile grew. She had refused to take her pain medication after they had gotten back from Breadstix; they had decided to eat out after the Cheerios practice. After pleading and threats from all three cheerleaders for over an hour the small diva still refused. Santana got fed up.

"Take the damn painkillers, Tiny."

"No. They make me feel out of control and mess with my mind."

Santana sighed and rubbed her forehead. They were finally getting to the root of the problem.

"Ok, but you are taking OTCs."

Rachel nodded, happy with this compromise.

"And we're moving in to keep an eye on you."

The blondes were stunned into silence when Santana bluntly told Rachel they were moving in with her. Rachel blushed.

"Permanently?"

"If you want us to."

"I want you to. I was going to ask you guys to move in after the game Friday, but…" the singer trailed off.

"You still can't remember?" Quinn asked softly.

Rachel shook her head.

"I remember the game ending, waving to you guys, then beginning to pack up, but after that there was this big black blur until the hospital."

Quinn pulled Rachel into a hug.

"It's ok."

Rachel sighed.

"I really wish I could remember."

"You will," Brittany said with confidence.

Rachel smiled.

"I hope so."

"In the mean time are you gonna help us move in tomorrow, Tiny?" Santana asked as she draped an arm over Rachel's shoulder.

Rachel shook her head to clear the memories from her mind as she started on her modified morning routine. No upper body today because of the cast, so she put in a full hour of cardio before hopping in the shower.

By six thirty, Rachel was ready for school and headed down to the kitchen for her usual granola bar or some toast. Instead, she found the three cheerleaders munching on egg (& bacon in Quinn's case) sandwiches. A fruit salad was laid out for her with a small pile of toast next to it.

She blushed and stammered out her thanks as Quinn put butter and jelly on the toast for her, because of the cast.

Breakfast was eaten mostly in silence as the girls prepared for school and mentally planned out their day. Nothing was going on, but all of them were concerned about their classmates' reaction to Rachel's cast. It had already been decided that Rachel would never be left alone, and luckily at least one of them had every class with her so it was not going to be too much of a problem to pull that off. The trio was also planning on finding out who had beat up Rachel, but that was just a pet project at the moment. Rachel's safety was their first priority.

While the Cheerios worried about the logistics of keeping an eye on Rachel, Rachel was trying to figure out what she was going to tell their classmates. Not many of them would really care, they would notice the cast because it was virtually impossible not to, but none of them would really care that she had been hurt.

Rachel knew what they thought of her. They had told her enough that the words were burned into her brain, even if the insults were now just whispered because of her friendship with the trio. Even the Glee club only wanted Rachel for her voice. The self-proclaimed family only cared if she did something wrong, and complained if she tried to help them. The insults from them had been toned down, again because of the Cheerios, but she was never really accepted as one of the group.

Thinking of the cheerleaders, Rachel could not help but smile a little as she thought about how she knew that actually cared about her.

Santana spotted the smile as she turned from making Quinn another bacon and egg sandwich.

"Share the joke?" Santana whispered in Rachel's ear as she placed the sandwich in front of Quinn.

Rachel jumped a little, startled, and shook her head.

"Just memories."

Santana nodded and went back to her own meal.

**#RQSB#**

They arrived at school around seven forty five in Quinn's car, ready to take on the day.

School went as expected. A few of their fellow Glee clubbers asked what had happened to Rachel, but were easily distracted by small talk and gossip. The rest of the school just ignored the small brunette. A combination of hangovers from partying, and the three Cheerios making sure that everyone knew Rachel was under their protection.

After school and Cheerios practice, the four girls headed to the trio's apartment. They ordered pizza around eight, and it took them until eleven to get everything packed up or put in storage. The four girls stumbled into Rachel's house around eleven thirty. They fell into bed and almost slept through their various alarms the next day.

The week passed slowly with Rachel working around her cast, and the Cheerios never letting the tiny diva out of their sight for longer than a minute or two.

Saturday morning, Quinn drove them to the hospital and Rachel was ecstatic when the doctor replaced her cast with a brace. Santana took them out to a hole in the wall Greek place to celebrate the liberation of Rachel's arm from its cast prison.

Sunday, Quinn dragged the other three to church. The afternoon was spent at the movie theater, watching a new Disney movie, and a picnic in the park.

Everything was going fine; the weekend before had been a minor setback in a fantastic friendship and things were now back on track. Rachel had not spared a thought for her razors in a fortnight and had not actually cut in over a month. There were still small actions that garnered pain, but nothing noticeable, just enough to control her urges, and Rachel had cut back on those as well.

That all changed on Tuesday.

**#RQSB#**

Rachel had not slept well Monday night. She fell asleep during a movie in Biology, and was not able to finish her History test because the paper moved when she did not hold it down, but her brace tore through the paper whenever she tried to hold it down with her arm.

There was only one thing Rachel knew could take away this feeling of worthlessness. Pain. Specifically, cutting. It worked the best and was easy to control. It was a thought, nothing more, just a quick, _maybe?_ that flashed through her mind throughout the day.

Until Glee club.

Rachel had tripped on her way to Glee club and her papers went everywhere. It took her close to twenty minutes to find them all because the people still in the hallways ignored her except to step on her papers, and let out the occasional muttered insult. She walked into Glee ten minutes late, the insults she had heard still ringing in her ears.

The trio had been called to an emergency meeting with Sue, so nobody in the choir room really cared why Rachel had walked in late, just that she had. And none of them held back.

Mr. Schuester spent fifteen minutes lecturing Rachel on punctuality while Mercedes and Kurt added their own commentary. The rest of the club mostly watched, adding their two cents as it was applicable.

Rachel ended up running out of the choir room, trying to stop the tears that were slipping down her face.

The only thing going through Rachel's mind as she ran home was that she needed relief.

And that meant razors.

**#RQSB#**

Brittany was bored.

Santana and Quinn were listening to Coach's speech about new routines and new recruits. Brittany was listening too, but she was bored, Glee club had already started and Rachel was alone, something they had all agreed should never happen again.

Brittany nodded along with Santana and Quinn at whatever Sue was saying, but frowned internally as the back of her neck tingled. Something was wrong.

Half an hour later, Coach let them go and the trio hurried to Glee, wanting to see Rachel and make sure everything was ok.

They found the Glee club practicing in the auditorium but no Rachel.

"Where's Rachel?" Santana growled out.

Their classmates shrugged.

"She came in late and when I tried to talk to her about it she stormed out." Mr. Schuester said as he looked at the trio, he sounded truly confused. "Now that you guys are here we can really start practicing."

Quinn snorted in disgust before turning around and leaving the auditorium, closely followed by Santana and Brittany.

Mr. Schuester shrugged and Glee club got back to rehearsing.

The girls would be back.

**#RQSB#**

Rachel made it to her front door before realizing that her car was back at the school. She shrugged it off and went inside, dropping her school bag by the front door and heading for her room.

This time she pulled out an extra razor from her shaving kit before taking off her shirt.

Seven straight red lines later, Rachel was humming in relief. She threw away the bloody razor and wrapped her upper arm. A wince crossed Rachel's features as she washed out the sink, but she decided against painkillers.

As Rachel picked up her shirt, Santana appeared in the open bathroom door, a blonde head over each shoulder.

**#RQSB#**

Finding Rachel's car in the school parking lot, the trio went from slightly worried to panicked. A diva storm out meant leaving the school building, so the trio knew she was not on campus, and were hoping she was back at her house.

Santana, Brittany and Quinn all piled into Santana's car and headed for Rachel's house. Brittany and Quinn took turns calling the singer's cell phone as Santana made the ten minute drive in three.

The front door was closed, but unlocked, and Rachel's school bag was next to the door. The trio called out Rachel's name as they checked the rooms downstairs. Getting no response and finding no trace of Rachel they thundered up the stairs.

They raced through the open door to Rachel's room and skidded to a halt in front of the small singer's bed. They turned toward the bathroom when they still could not find Rachel.

Quinn looked over Santana's shoulder to see a sight she had hoped to never see again.

**#RQSB#**

Quinn had spent the summer before freshman year getting ready for the Cheerios, which meant lots of running and gymnastics with the occasional free day spent with Santana and Brittany, usually at the park.

One day, the blonde decided to surprise her two friends with a spa trip. Quinn would forever be thankful she did.

After picking up Brittany, the two blondes left Quinn's mom in the car and snuck into Santana's deserted house. They made it through the silent house and to Santana's room without a problem.

Santana was sitting on her bed with five still bleeding lines running down her left forearm. The bloody razor lay on the bedside table and a bandage lay next to the Latina as she just starred at the bright red lines that now marked her skin.

Quinn's gasp made Santana turn toward her door and clench her fist as she tried to respond to the perceived threat and keep her cuts hidden at the same time. Quinn locked eyes with Santana and a battle of wills ensued until Santana collapsed in on herself, silent tears running down her face.

The two blondes were immediately at Santana's side and had wrapped the Latina in a hug.

They had spent the rest of the summer helping Santana work through her issues and becoming closer as friends. Santana still cut every once in a while, but now, instead of hiding it, she told the two blondes when she cut and tried to talk to them about whatever was bothering her instead of cutting. Every time Santana had new lines, Quinn and Brittany would pamper the Latina and tend her cuts, while telling Santana that the cuts were war wounds calling her their fierce fighter.

Looking at Rachel, with that bright white bandage on her arm, Quinn felt tears prick her eyes, but held them back.

Rachel looked like a deer caught in the headlights of an oncoming eighteen wheeler. Wide, surprised, and fearful, but coupled with a hint of resignation.

This was going to happen, but for a minute the world stood still.

**##RQSB##**


	7. Chapter 7

**AN: Sorry it's been so long. Between college work and more work everything has been put on the back burner. Hopefully by November things will have quieted down enough that I can update more. I do **_**plan**_**, as in I'm not sure if I will, to update again this month, but next week is hell and midterms are closing fast for me.**

**Anyway, on to the story. Lots of thought process going on here and the continuing confrontation from last chapter. Onward my friends, to victory and glory, or maybe just four girls and some singing (eventually).**

**Oh. PS, because I keep forgetting. If you have not heard Everything is Alright by Motion City Soundtrack, that song was the inspiration for the title and at least part of the story.**

**Chapter 7:**

Rachel stared at three disbelieving faces, her shirt forgotten in her hand.

"What are you doing Rachel?" Santana asked, breaking the tableau the girls had been trapped in.

"Nothing," Rachel replied quickly as she pulled on her shirt and pushed past the cheerleaders to enter her bedroom.

"Nothing, huh?" Santana muttered angrily as she bent down and picked the bloody razor out of the trash.

Santana turned and stormed out of the bathroom, leaving Quinn and Brittany stunned momentarily before they followed her.

Rachel was at her laptop, trying to find a song, when Santana slammed the screen down, almost catching Rachel's hand. The Latina held the bloody razor in front of Rachel's face, making the diva pale.

"Tell me _this_," Santana growled, shaking the razor, "is nothing!"

Rachel shook her head and tried to open her laptop, but was stopped by Santana's hand, which was still keeping the laptop shut.

As Santana growled and opened her mouth, Quinn spun her around and into Brittany's arms, knowing that Santana needed to calm down. Quinn then turned to Rachel and pulled the diva over to her bed.

Rachel allowed Quinn to pull her over to the bed, feeling no malice from the blonde, only concern.

Quinn pulled up Rachel's sleeve and fingered the bandage as she asked,

"How many?"

Rachel looked confused for a second before answering.

"Cuts today? Eight. Cuts total? Over one hundred, but less than a thousand."

Quinn did not react except to nod in acceptance.

"May I?" Quinn asked, tapping the bandage.

Rachel took a shaky breath as she nodded.

Brittany handed Quinn a pair of scissors, keeping an arm around Santana the entire time.

Quinn cut away the bandage and bit her lip.

Angry red lines were still weeping on Rachel's upper arm.

The brunette refused to look at any of the cheerleaders, especially Quinn, as silent tears tracked down Rachel's cheek and she waited for the rejection she knew was coming.

Instead, Rachel felt Quinn run fingers through her hair before placing a kiss on her shoulder, cupping her face and placing a kiss on her forehead.

Rachel sat, shocked and unmoving, as Quinn stood up and gathered several items before returning to the bed. The blonde proceeded to clean the cuts lovingly and carefully.

Midway through, Rachel broke down.

**#RQSB#**

Santana and Brittany watched as Rachel went from staring a hole in the floor and trying to hold back tears to sobbing into Quinn's shoulder

Quinn wrapped her arms around Rachel, pulling the small brunette into a hug as soon as the singer sagged into her. Rachel fought the embrace on instinct, but her attempts were half-hearted and lacked any real strength. Quinn refused to let go, trying to surround Rachel with acceptance and love. She whispered quiet and calming anecdotes and compliments into Rachel's ear as she traced soothing patterns into the brunette's back, never releasing her tight hold.

It seemed like forever to the occupants of the room, but only fifteen minutes had passed before Rachel tamped down on her emotions and stopped crying. She managed to straighten up a little while trying to stop her sniffles and hiccups. Still wrapped in Quinn's embrace because the blonde refused to let her go.

A smile flitted across Rachel's face as for the first time in a long time a hug did not feel like a prison.

Rachel knew that she could break the hug at any time, something she did once she had managed to swallow the last of her hiccups, because the embrace was supporting not confining.

Quinn was sad and slightly surprised when Rachel broke the embrace. She smiled when Rachel burrowed closer, laying her cheek on Quinn's chest and hugging the blonde tightly. Quinn draped her arms around Rachel and gently squeezed the girl once before loosening the embrace.

**#RQSB#**

Santana had been furious when she had walked in on Rachel and anger clouded her brain as she found the razor and confronted Rachel. She was angry, not at Rachel, but at whoever or whatever had made Rachel do this.

When Quinn spun her into Brittany, she knew that she needed to calm down but inside, Santana was seething and in pain. Santana was thinking something along the lines of 'Why did such a beautiful creature feel the need to hurt herself?'

Santana did not realize that Quinn and Brittany had thought the same thing when they found out about her. She allowed Brittany to hug her and try to calm her down.

By the time Quinn had taken off Rachel's bandage, Santana was fairly calm, and getting more so as Brittany played with her hair.

Noticing that there was no more than a dozen lines on Rachel's arm Santana frowned. The girl wasn't a novice. Thinking back, Santana realized that this was probably why Brittany had been so concerned about Rachel during the beginning of the year. Which meant this was a habit. But cuts took at least a week to heal, if they did not leave a scar, so Rachel had not cut in a week. That probably meant she had stopped for at least a week or two, maybe longer, and something today had set her off.

Santana growled as she thought about whoever had hurt Rachel. The growl turned into a purr as Brittany massaged her scalp for a minute.

She watched as Rachel cried and snuggled further into Brittany as she divided her time between developing ways to help Rachel, and torture/kill techniques to use on whoever had done this to the tiny singer.

**#RQSB#**

Brittany had caught Santana after Quinn spun her around, knowing that Santana was not mad at Rachel, she was mad at whoever had caused this, and at herself for not noticing.

The blonde hugged Santana to her as the Latina tried to escape before slowly calming down as they made it over to the bed and curled up at the foot of it. Brittany kept one arm around Santana until she felt the tall brunette was calm enough before playing with Santana's hair.

This calmed them both down as all Brittany really wanted to do was take all the people who had ever hurt Rachel and shove them off a very big cliff.

She'd heard that Dover was nice, or maybe the Grand Canyon would be better.

Brittany mused over cliff options as she continued to play with Santana's hair and with her calm exterior in place

**#RQSB#**

Rachel had known she was screwed the second the three Cheerios had walked into her bathroom, but she still tried to put off the inevitable and just ignore the problem for a little while longer. When Rachel was sobbing into Quinn's shoulder and they still had not left, she started to get it.

These three actually cared.

As Rachel snuggled into Quinn and allowed the blonde to comfort her, two little voices argued in her head.

_Should she let them in? Or was that suicidal?_

**##RQSB##**


	8. Chapter 8

**AN:**

**So. This is a little early, I was planning on posting on Saturday, but I have some free time so here you are. There's a lot going on here, and it is the longest chapter I've written so far so I hope you enjoy. I will probably not get another one up until Thanksgiving or maybe even after. I'm now working close to twenty hours a week, and taking something like seventeen credits in college. Ideas are still coming, writing not so much.**

**Oh, and check out my profile page please, I have a poll up for this story, and if somebody doesn't vote soon I'm gonna assume nobody cares. Peace out. **

**Chapter 8:**

After Rachel had stopped sobbing, Quinn had resumed tending her cuts, same as before.

Once the cuts were clean and bandaged Brittany came over, Santana had gone downstairs to make dinner, and knelt by the bed, arms open. Rachel bit her lip and glanced at Brittany's face before burrowing herself into Brittany's body and clutching at her. Brittany held Rachel close, hugging the brunette as tight as possible without being restrictive.

Quinn cleaned up the medical supplies and headed downstairs, closely followed by Brittany, with Rachel still clinging to the tall dancer, and cradled in the blonde's arms. Dinner found Rachel on Santana's lap. All three were taking turns caring for Rachel.

The blondes tucked Rachel into bed, while Santana confiscated all the razors she could find.

All four slept fitfully and woke the next morning still tired.

Rachel had ignored the trio that morning and continued to ignore them the rest of the week.

**#RQSB#**

For the rest of the week Rachel ignored the trio.

Everything stayed the same at school, but Rachel did not initiate contact and she was standoffish when they were in the house. Quinn and Brittany gave Rachel her space, having gone through this before, Santana was not quite as thoughtful.

Santana spent time trying to get Rachel to talk about what was going on, and after the first night Rachel knew that the Latina had taken all the blades she could find. It wasn't that Santana was trying to be forceful, she just did not know how else to act.

One question was plaguing the trio as they stumbled through the week, trying to give Rachel her space while staying supportive.

_Why did Rachel pull away?_

**#RQSB#**

Come Friday afternoon the three Cheerios finally confronted her.

They arrived home after school and Santana blocked Rachel's access to the stairs as Brittany gently tugged Rachel toward the living room, Quinn following behind so as to block any escape through the front door.

Rachel sighed, exits blocked and grim determination on every face. Time to face the music. Rachel allowed herself to be guided into the living room and prodded into a couch.

The three cheerleaders had rearranged the furniture so that a trio of chairs formed a semi circle around the couch. Quinn sat in the middle, with Brittany closest to Rachel, and Santana trying to look as non-threatening as possible as she leaned back in her chair.

Silence reigned for minutes. Rachel still refused to look at the trio, and the three Cheerios examined Rachel, trying to figure out how to start.

"Was there something you wished to talk to me about?" Rachel finally asked, cutting through the silence that had been stretched beyond breaking.

Santana and Brittany nodded. Quinn took a deep breath.

"We want to know why you hurt yourself."

Rachel tensed slightly shifting her eyes between the four pairs of shoes she could see. Focusing on her own shoes Rachel spoke.

"Umm…Because it makes me feel good?"

Rachel's voice was shaky, and pauses littered the few words she had spoken, while a stutter could be heard behind the words, and it came out sounding a lot more like a question then a statement. Her eyes never left her shoes.

"Hey," Quinn said softly, drawing out the word. "We're not judging you, we're not angry, and we're not going to leave you. We just want to help."

Quinn's voice had not once wavered. She was calm, but the words resounded through the quiet room and embedded itself in Rachel's brain.

The small diva glanced into each of the girls' eyes, not seeing hatred or anger she relaxed slightly, still not daring to hope that she had seen anything other than concern and sadness.

"I'm fine."

Santana snorted and small smiles flashed across Quinn and Brittany's faces.

It was only momentary lightness, but it made everyone feel better.

"You may be a lot of things Rachel, but you are not fine."

"Ok. I'm functional. What more do you want?"

The words held a bitter edge and bit into the cheerleaders' psyche, embedding themselves there.

A light bulb went off and Brittany realized the fundamental problem.

Rachel really believed that no one cared about her. They wanted her abilities, not the actual person. So Rachel had turned to the only way she could feel alive instead of feeling like an inconvenient, but necessary, machine.

Brittany's heart ached and she wondered how long Rachel had felt unloved.

"Functional is not what you should be Ray. You're a person, not a machine."

Rachel looked up from her shoes at Brittany's quiet words, fire in her eyes.

"But what if it's what I'm supposed to be?"

The words were filled with anguish but Rachel truly believed what she was saying.

At the trio's disbelieving looks Rachel continued.

"I know I'm not a machine," she scoffed. "But I'm not human. Humans are supposed to have friends and families, people that care about them. They're not supposed to follow a routine that never changes and be a lonely tool used to win competitions."

Rachel's voice had picked up, her volume rising, but emotionally blank. Rachel believed what she was saying, and worse, she believed that she deserved whatever she got.

The trio knew high school could be cruel, but they also realized that high school had just reinforced something that Rachel had already been taught.

Santana and Brittany wanted to find whoever had made Rachel feel this way and turn them into a bloody splotch on the floor.

Quinn felt sad that Rachel had been sucked into believing that she was worthless. Living in her father's house Quinn had been through something similar, and had even believed she was worthless for a time, but to believe as Rachel did, that she was worth no more than the actions she could perform? ! Quinn's heart broke for Rachel, not able to imagine who would be horrible enough to make the sweet singer ever believe she was virtually worthless.

Rachel's voice had turned slightly ragged at the end of her small rant so she took a few breaths before adding,

"But that's what I am, so can you please let me get back to at least a semblance of normalcy?"

The trio gaped at her in silence, processing everything that had occurred in the past few minutes.

Rachel sighed, stood up, looked at each Cheerio with a fondness reserved for them alone, and walked out of the room.

The trio heard Rachel walk up the stairs and the click of her bedroom door shutting.

Santana was the first to move. She got up slowly and marched over to the computer in the corner, each step a loud, echoing thud that reverberated in the ears of Brittany and Quinn, pulling the blondes out of their thoughts.

"What are you doing?" Quinn asked, still pinned to her seat from her inability to comprehend Rachel's ideas about herself.

Santana's voice was deadly calm and her words clipped.

"I'm going to find those fuckers and kill them slowly."

"We'll help." Brittany's normally sunshine and kittens demeanor was gone and replaced with a dark scowl.

She walked over and sat in Santana's lap for comfort. The Latina just smiled and placed a kiss on Brittany's head before going back to booting up the computer. Brittany laid her head on Santana's chest, needing to hear the brunette's heart beat.

Quinn made her way over and rested her hands on Santana's shoulders, needing human contact as well.

"Rachel won't like it if we kill her family. And we don't know for sure if they're the ones that caused this."

Santana growled as the menu screen popped up and asked for a password.

"The world's conspiring against me again."

The blondes laughed.

Santana had said it enough times that multiple inside jokes were attached to that phrase. Santana chuckled too as she leaned back in her chair.

The Latina wrapped her arms around Brittany, holding her tight, as Quinn started to softly massage Santana's shoulders.

"So what's the plan now? Confrontation didn't work. Do we have a Plan B?" Santana asked.

Quinn and Brittany were the planners. Santana considered herself a glorified bodyguard, the muscle of the group.

The blondes shook their heads.

"More talking though. Rachel won't do well with a physical intervention I think." Brittany said, still snuggled further into Santana's chest.

"Yep. Physical is a last resort, if things get really bad. I don't want a mad diva after me for the rest of my life."

Quinn and Brittany shuddered and nodded in agreement.

**#RQSB#**

The rest of the weekend ran as normally as possible with Rachel smoothly changing the subject anytime the cheerleaders attempted to bring up the Friday afternoon conversation again.

That Monday after school Rachel got her brace off, and the week went by quickly. Finn paid more attention to Rachel than the trio thought necessary, or healthy, considering that he had dumped Rachel not long after summer started and had pretty much ignored her existence since.

But apparently the big idiot was pining away again, and it had the trio foaming at the mouth to do something about it. Preferably something harmful to the boy's health.

The fact that Rachel just might kill them kept the three girls in check until the man-mountain crossed a line.

**#RQSB#**

Finn Hudson was not the smartest boy to walk down the halls of WMHS, nor was he the stupidest, but he was definitely closer to the dumb side of the spectrum.

So when he did something really stupid most people didn't even notice, and fewer still knew what he had done wrong.

It started off fairly innocent. Finn had been following Rachel around all week, even though she had told him multiple times to stop. Outside of the choir room Finn stepped on her foot and Rachel blew up.

"Leave me alone Finn. You were the one that terminated our relationship so please refrain from attempting to do whatever it is you are attempting." A deep breath later, slightly calmer, "If you wish to be friends I have no objections, but you will have to earn my trust again."

Finn frowned.

"But Rachel, I want you back," the man mountain whined as he tried to look cute. He looked like a six foot toddler throwing a tantrum, not a good look on him.

Rachel sighed.

"No Finn. I have moved on, so should you. It was infatuation, not love, that guided us."

Santana, Brittany and Quinn rounded the corner on their way to Glee in time to see Finn's transformation from trying to be charming to angry.

He grabbed Rachel's wrist as she turned away and tugged her back, making her fall into him. Finn then grabbed her shoulders and shook her as he talked, or rather yelled.

"No! ! ! ? That's not the right answer Rachel. You are in love with me and always will be."

Rachel managed to stutter out, "Stop, Finn," in between teeth chipping shakes.

Jaws dropped when the trio saw Finn grab Rachel. Bags fell when he shook her. And the three Cheerios shot into motion less than a second after the word "stop" left Rachel's mouth.

Finn found himself flat on his back, with Brittany of all people, standing over him. The blonde just stared at him for a second before turning away and letting Santana take over the intimidation of the tall moron.

Quinn had caught Rachel when Finn's grasp disappeared and she had fallen from lack of balance. A snarl formed on Quinn's lips, but a purr, not a growl, emerged from the blonde's mouth because Rachel burrowed into her.

Brittany took Rachel from Quinn so that the head cheerleader could join Santana. Quinn smiled softly before joining Santana, the sight of Rachel in Brittany's arms, with the dancer wrapped around the singer, enough to break through the red haze of her anger at Finn.

Santana and Quinn just stared down at Finn as the boy tried to figure out what had happened. As he pushed himself up two hands jabbed at his shoulder joint and he collapsed again. Looking up Finn saw Quinn and Santana, one on either side of him.

"You knocked me down," he snarled. "I'll have you both suspended for this!" His voice had grown louder with every word, alerting the Glee club, who had gathered in the choir room before the altercation, that something was going on.

They crowded into the doorway of the choir room as the confrontation was happening basically on the doorstep of the room, creating an invisible barrier in front of the door.

"You'll be lucky if you're not arrested!" Quinn shouted, her face contorted in rage and tinged a shade of red.

"Do you like beating up girls? Is that it?" Santana questioned menacingly, growling deep in her throat and glaring at Finn.

Finn smirked up at the two girls standing over him.

"She liked it. She loves it when I'm rough."

Rachel whimpered and Brittany clutched her tighter, sending a glare Finn's way.

Having a hot Latina straddling you was usually a good thing for whoever was underneath said girl. Except for when said Latina is beating your face into unrecognizable mush.

By the time Quinn pulled Santana off of Finn the brunette had broken his nose, ensured that he would not see straight for at least a week, and added so much color to his face you could not tell if Finn was black or red, definitely not his normal pinkish color, but maybe purple.

Santana was flailing and shouting in Spanish as Quinn pulled her off Finn and wrapped her in a hug to calm her down and keep her contained. Santana's harried breathing returned to normal and she continued to glare at Finn as she went from fighting Quinn's embrace to relaxing into it.

Rachel was now sitting in Brittany's lap as the blonde ran fingers through the brunette's hair and hummed softly to whatever tune traipsed through her head.

Mr. Schuester looked on in shock. He would have to show up on time more often if this is what was happening before he arrived. The teacher went to help Finn up, but was brushed off as the boy got to his feet by himself.

"What's going on here?" Mr. Schuester asked, looking first at the Glee kids still gawking in the doorway of the choir room, and then to Finn who stood to the side, completely ignoring the four girls in the hall until Quinn broke the strained silence.

"Finn decided it would be ok to manhandle Rachel. Santana doesn't like it when others are hurt so she stepped in and went a little over board."

"Not true Mr. Schuester. Me and Rachel were just talking when out of nowhere I'm tackled to the ground."

There were snickers from the Glee club at the absurd nature of the quarterback being beat up by a cheerleader. But most of the club and Mr. Schuester seemed to believe Finn's story.

When Mr. Schuester nodded in response to Finn's story Santana went berserk and it took every ounce of strength Quinn possessed to keep the Latina contained.

"How do you explain the bruises on Rachel's wrist then Mr. Shue?" Brittany asked, both arms now wrapped around Rachel's midsection.

With a little prompting from Brittany Rachel showed the group the bruises on her arm.

Gasps could be heard and a confused look appeared on Mr. Schuester's face. He turned to Finn for an explanation.

"I didn't know I grabbed her that hard."

Nobody but the four girls seemed to see the gaping hole in Finn's story.

Finn said that they had been talking; he had never said anything about physical contact. As Mr Schue bought into Finn's lies the trio had a silent conversation.

Brittany sighed as she whispered in Rachel's ear.

"Rachel." She waited for Rachel to respond before continuing. "I know you love to sing, but we can't let you be by yourself in Glee club, and even if we quit Cheerios we wouldn't be able to be here all the time, so we're taking you out. Ok?"

Rachel nodded slowly in understanding, but frowned a little because the cheerleaders were essentially telling her what to do.

"I'm sorry. But until we can guarantee that you would be safe we can't in good conscious let you be in Glee club. It's too dangerous. If you really want to come back that's your decision, but Quinn's going to quit for all of us right now."

Rachel could not see Brittany's face but she could see Santana and Quinn's. They were not trying to patronize her, they were not trying to take away one of the few things that made her feel safe and valued, they just wanted to protect her.

The only thing she saw in Santana and Quinn's eyes was love. And it took everything she had to not burst into tears on the spot, but she bit her lip and nodded to show her understanding and agreement.

The Cheerios smiled for all of a second, before Quinn and Santana turned back to the Glee club, HBIC faces on and ready to rumble.

"If you're going to believe Finn's lies then we're leaving!" Quinn said, standing with her arms crossed. She had let go of Santana so they could face down the Glee club.

"Wait. Finn do you want to take this to the principal?"

Finn shook his head, knowing that if he went to the principal the trio would have him arrested.

"Ok then. We'll meet back here on Tuesday. Take the weekend to cool off and relax a little."

Quinn sighed. She should have realized he would not get it the first time.

"No. I mean we're leaving as in quitting Glee. Until we feel it will be safe for us to be here without getting harassed. I mean if Finn can do that much damage to an object of his obsession I'd hate to see what he could do to someone he really hated. So the four of us," she gestured to Rachel, Brittany, Santana, and herself. "Are quitting. We'll come back when we feel it's safe."

Santana helped Rachel and Brittany up and the quartet walked out, Quinn leading the way with Santana and Brittany each with an arm around Rachel.

Shocked expressions were on everyone's face and almost all were speechless, but Mercedes managed to sum up the group's thoughts pretty well.

"What the hell just happened?"

**##RQSB##**


	9. Chapter 9

**AN: Ok. Hope everyone's doing well. This is hopefully the last chapter before you find out about Rachel's past, but that all depends on my muse and the direction it takes. This includes lots of angst, a minor cliff hanger at the end, plenty of comfort, and an attempted suicide. **

**Oh. Santana's back story is up. As is a new poll to see if Quinn and Brittany should get their own excerpts.**

**Anyway hope you enjoy and I should have the next part up before X-mas.**

**Chapter 9:**

Santana had to carry Rachel into the house because the singer had collapsed upon reaching the car. She had just given up her passion, something that defined her. Delayed shock was what it was.

Having your ex beat you up was a traumatic event, no matter what day it was, add to that the fact that she had been coerced into giving up the one thing she was really good at and you get a swirling mass of negative emotions.

The itch to cut was not helping.

Rachel had been spiraling out of control since the weekend, but had refrained from self harm because she knew the trio would find out and step in before she got the chance to make more than three sharp lines.

Santana carried Rachel's still form up to the singer's room and laid the singer gently on the bed before brushing a few strands of hair away from Rachel's face and then leaving the diva to her thoughts.

Rachel may not have moved a muscle since getting into the car, but her mind was fighting an epic battle.

A mess of emotions swirled around inside of Rachel, but she felt nothing. It was like she was not in control of her body anymore, like it was not even her body; she was just a passenger. Two little voices in the back of her mind argued over the control of one Rachel Berry.

Rachel could hear the cheerleaders talking downstairs, and silence fell at the exact moment that the battle in her head was won.

For a moment it seemed as if the world stood perfectly still.

Then an all-encompassing numbness began to spread throughout Rachel's body.

On autopilot Rachel reached into the drawer on her nightstand and retrieved a box cutter. This time the red lines on her arm took the shape of words.

Another argument was held by the voices in her head as Rachel's eyes examined the message immortalized on her arm.

Again a victory was declared, but this time Rachel's hand shook as it started towards its destination. Although Rachel was still a spectator in her own body, her body was responding to the swirling emotions that rose to a crescendo when she realized where the blade was headed. Rachel just could not figure out if she wanted to stop the blade, or make it move faster.

**#RQSB#**

The trio had gathered in the living room to talk, not wanting to disturb Rachel, thinking she needed some time alone.

They did not want to make Rachel quit Glee club; they just needed to keep her safe. And after Finn had gone from unwanted touching to unwanted grabbing, they had to do something. The trio lapsed into silence after a while and thought about everything that had happened.

Brittany broke the silence, brow furrowed and a frown on her face.

"Something's wrong."

Santana drew in a sharp breath as she realized that Rachel was in trouble.

Quinn just bolted for the stairs.

Through Rachel's open door Quinn saw new red lines on the singer's arm and a razor resting at her armpit. Confusion won over sadness in the fight for emotional dominance.

Santana and Brittany bounded into the room moments later and while Brittany joined Quinn in the land of confusion, Santana knew what was happening and crossed the room quickly. She grabbed the box cutter by the blade and ripped it out of Rachel's grasp.

"No," Santana said, grabbing a Kleenex, and cleaning the blade as much as possible. She snapped the box cutter shut before pocketing it.

"You're not going to kill yourself Rachel. I can't let you."

Brittany and Quinn did not quite understand how a cut to the armpit would kill Rachel, it's not like they bleed out every time they nicked themselves shaving.

Rachel just sat, non-responsive, and still feeling like a spectator instead of a participant in the unfolding events.

The three cheerleaders frowned at the lack of response.

"Rachel?"

Brittany spoke softly, but Rachel jumped and looked around frantically before she seemed to collapse in on herself, silent tears running down her face.

Santana, Brittany and Quinn did not know what had brought this on but they did know they were going to help. They curled up around Rachel and for the next twelve hours the four girls dozed in and out of consciousness, comforted by each other's presence.

**#RQSB#**

Rachel woke screaming from nightmares that made no sense.

Santana, already on a hairpin trigger, was standing by the bed defensively, trying to figure out where the threat was before Quinn and Brittany's sleeping forms even registered Rachel's scream.

The blondes moved to comfort Rachel as Santana looked on, longing to join them, but too wired to stand still. The Latina caught Quinn's eye and a two-second silent conversation later Santana disappeared downstairs.

Brittany ensconced Rachel in a loose body hug, protecting the small brunette from the world. Quinn lay on her side, facing them. Close enough to touch, but not to crowd, and gently ran her fingers along any exposed flesh and through Rachel's brunette locks.

Rachel calmed down eventually, but just snuggled closer to Brittany, and tried to arch her skin into Quinn's touch.

They stayed like that, Rachel relaxing until she was melting into the two blondes' touches, somewhere in between consciousness and dozing.

An alarm went off, waking the three girls from their stupor.

Santana managed to turn the alarm off before anyone on the bed could move. She smiled at the tangle of limbs on the bed and left the room, only to return seconds later with a tray of food.

Santana used the tray to clear a space on the bedside table and left the food sitting there as she climbed into the bed and cuddled up behind Quinn. Copying Quinn's movements, Santana slowly began running her fingers along Rachel's arm.

Eventually Rachel sat up, Brittany plastered to her back, breaking the peaceful tableau.

Quinn giggled and Santana smiled at the sight of the tall dancer and small singer intertwined. Brittany's frame overshadowed Rachel's as the singer tried to become one with the dancer.

Santana rolled over and picked up the tray of food as Quinn moved into an upright position as well.

The four girls ate breakfast in bed as carefully as possible, watching the sun spread across the room and infuse them with warmth.

No one talked about what had happened. Anyone watching would have remarked on how normal the four girls looked, maybe a little touchy feely, but nothing out of place.

That is until Brittany asked an innocent seeming question.

"Rachel? What was your nightmare about?"

Rachel continued to eat, though Santana and Quinn stopped eating and joined Brittany in looking at the small singer, all of them wanting an answer.

A sigh escaped Rachel's lips as she realized that not only did she owe the three Cheerios an answer for sticking with her through the nightmares, but they would also fight for the answers they sought.

The time for evasion was over. It was time to come clean, and hope for the best, while preparing herself, especially her heart, for the worst.

**##RQSB##**

**AN: I rarely say stuff at the bottom but I wanted to put in an explanation of the whole "armpit suicide thingy". There is an artery near your armpit that if cut can kill you fairly quickly, there is also one on your thigh. I'm not telling you this so you can go out and try it, but because I did my research a long time ago and haven't forgotten it. And because I know someone is confused as to how anyone can cut themselves and die when they don't slash their wrists. Wrists are not an effective way to kill yourself. FYI. Anyway, getting off rant before it turns into crusade.**

**Peace.**


	10. Chapter 10

**AN: So, Rachel's past is next chapter, I already have about half of her past written down already, and am working on typing it. There will be a post for Christmas, but when exactly is debatable. It will definitely be before New Years though. For those of you not in college, finals are upon me, and that means I kind of need to focus on school. I know, I know, that old excuse. But really, I kind of want an education so I need to focus on stupid tests. Meh.**

**There is foreshadowing here and a cliff hanger I suppose. Fair warning.**

**You might have noticed that I keep referring to silent conversations between the cheerleaders; this has to do with them knowing each other so well they can communicate without talking, through just looks or touches. **

**And for your reference. Nicknames for Rachel are as follows: estrella – Santana, Ray – Brittany, Baby girl – Quinn. Other nicknames will be used but these three will only be used by their respective owners.**

**I noticed I didn't say who said what, and didn't want anyone to get confused.**

**Chapter 10:**

Santana could see how hard Rachel was shaking, Quinn was focused on Rachel's hyperventilation, and Brittany could feel the minute twitches running through Rachel's system. All were symptoms of Rachel's impending nervous breakdown as the diva's mind ran through every worst case scenario imaginable.

The trio needed answers but... they didn't want to push Rachel too hard. One silent conversation later, the Cheerios had reached a conclusion.

Rachel came first, the answers they sought would keep a little longer, Rachel was more important.

Brittany wrapped herself tighter around Rachel, trying to infuse the small singer with her warmth and comfort. Quinn and Santana whispered endearments into Rachel's ear and reassured her that she didn't have to tell them anything, they would be there for her no matter what.

Rachel's breathing slowly returned to normal, the shaking slowed then stopped, and the twitches worked their way through her body.

When all of the symptoms of Rachel's nervous breakdown had subsided, the singer's body sagged with exhaustion. Between the nightmares and the panic attack, Rachel was a little surprised she had not already succumbed to the call of unconsciousness, her eyes fluttered open only by extreme force of will.

"Shhh. Sleep, estrella. You're safe here."

"Don't worry baby girl we'll protect you."

"We'll be here when you wake up Ray."

And with the voices of three lovely girls in her ears, Rachel allowed exhaustion to overwhelm her and fell into an impenetrable sleep.

Safe from nightmares and the horrors of the world.

Protected by three guardian angels.

**#RQSB#**

Six hours of Rachel sleeping like the dead had Santana and Quinn checking on the singer every ten minutes and developing nervous tics.

Brittany had moved from her place beside Rachel and was now sprawled out on the floor, splitting her attention between homework, Quinn and Santana's antics concerning Rachel, and the deep, even, peaceful breathing emanating from Rachel.

Rachel was blissfully unaware of anything; not even dreams interrupted her much needed sleep.

The trio spent the day enjoying each other's presence, talking and doing homework, while staying within touching distance, or at least visual distance of Rachel's still form.

By the time the sun disappeared below the horizon, Quinn and Santana were going ballistic trying to figure out why Rachel was still asleep, but reluctant to wake her. Brittany was slightly worried, but ecstatic that Rachel was sleeping peacefully. The blond dancer watched Quinn and Santana pace from where she had wrapped herself around Rachel, while playing with the singer's hair.

Rachel finally started to stir during Quinn and Santana's whispered argument about the pros and cons of waking Rachel or letting her sleep.

Brittany was too focused on the arguing pair to notice the few flutters that led up to Rachel returning to consciousness. Quinn and Santana were too invested in their argument to notice much else until the diva spoke.

"I'm awake. Argument over. Now can I get something to eat?" Rachel asked in a drowsy, sleep-soaked voice.

Brittany chuckled, Quinn smiled softly, and Santana just gaped at Rachel open-mouthed.

A raised eyebrow Santana was sure Rachel had stolen off of Quinn reminded Quinn and Santana that they had not answered Rachel's question, while Brittany's chuckles tapered off.

"Sure. What do you want, estrella?"

Rachel yawned and shrugged as she sat up and then attempted to stand. The Brittany attached to her back made Rachel's attempt at standing up an epic fail.

"I don't know. Some type of pasta?"

Santana nodded and turned to leave, only to be called back by a petulant Rachel.

"And a small amount of meat. As Quinn has reminded me, my doctor has insisted I eat more protein and basically ordered me to give up any form of diet. So I will have to get used to eating meat again if I do not want to be lectured the next time I go in for a checkup."

Quinn and Brittany hid their smiles at Rachel's rant, even sleepy Rachel could express her intense indignation at being forced to give up her choice of diet.

Santana gifted Rachel with a soft smile before nodding and heading for the kitchen.

After dinner, which was held in Rachel's room, Rachel drifted off to sleep again, this time in Quinn's arms. The trio was worried about the lethargy Rachel seemed to be stuck in, but agreed to wait until Sunday afternoon to decide on a course of action. Santana and Brittany snuggled into Quinn and Rachel as the trio drifted off to sleep.

The Cheerios were worried about Rachel, but content to have her close.

**#RQSB#**

Sunrise saw Rachel trying to quietly tiptoe out of her room to make breakfast for the girls, only to inadvertently wake the three girls snoozing on her bed by moving out of their grasp.

The trio agreed to attempt to return to sleep, only on the condition that they could come downstairs in twenty minutes if they had not fallen back asleep by then.

Needless to say, twenty one minutes later the trio was down in the kitchen.

After eating breakfast, the girls spent the rest of the day watching movies, hanging out, and doing homework.

All went to bed that night nervous about how the week at school would go.

**#RQSB#**

The three Cheerios dogged Rachel's every step on Monday, but Kurt and Mercedes still managed to harass her about leaving Glee, and Finn would not stop shooting her heart broken looks. Since his face was still a multicolored study in pain, his emotional expressions were even more limited than usual. It made it hard for Rachel to even decipher the looks on Finn's face until he glared at the Unholy Trinity, and immediately began wincing because of the pain it caused.

Finn quickly disappeared after Brittany smiled happily at him, Quinn smirked at him, her eyebrow raised, and Santana smiled, cracked her knuckles and blew him a kiss.

Their antics made Rachel laugh and the rest of the day was tolerable because of it.

**#RQSB#**

Mr. Schuester still did not understand that by 'quit', Quinn had meant that all four girls were not coming back to Glee for a while. So Monday passed with relatively no hassle. Tuesday followed suit.

The calm passed and Wednesday brought the storm.

The time before lunch went by peacefully. The four girls did not see Finn, or Kurt and Mercedes, and relaxed a little, thinking that they had finally gotten the message.

Spanish proved them wrong when Mr. Schuester held them back after class.

"Why have you guys not been to Glee club?" He sounded like someone had kicked his nonexistent puppy, gaze focused on Rachel.

Santana answered him, a frown on her face and pinkies linked with Brittany.

"We told you Friday. None of us are coming back to Glee until it's a safe environment."

Mr. Schuester switched his gaze from Rachel to Santana, and Quinn slipped her arm around the brunette, giving the small singer strength.

"Glee is a safe place. It's a place for everyone to interact together and hopefully build friendships across the boundaries of social status."

When Mr. Schue said stuff like that Brittany could almost believe he was a good teacher that cared about the kids.

Then she would remember how many times he stood by as Rachel had been bullied and even berated the singer himself, and Brittany felt her heart ache at remembering how much the singer had been through.

Quinn snorted and Santana shook her head in disbelief.

Rachel looked at Mr. Schue in shock, wondering how he reconciled his ideas about Glee club with his treatment of her. And then she realized he did not need to. After all, why would he need to recognize the feelings of a thing?

Quinn felt Rachel start to physically shrink into herself, while Brittany swore she was psychic as not only could she recognize the thoughts going through Rachel's head, but also the brunette's feelings.

Santana responded to the vibes she was getting from Quinn and Brittany by scowling heavily at Mr. Schuester, but the vibe she picked up from Rachel made her growl and take action.

The overwhelming feeling of unworthiness permeated the room and made the trio grit their teeth with anger, while Mr. Schuester seemed oblivious.

"You do not get to say that. Not when you watch every day as Rachel gets harassed by others, not doing a thing to stop them, and actually joining them when Rachel tries to defend herself. If it wasn't for the fact that Rachel loves Glee I would tell you we're never coming back. But because she does, we will be back…eventually." Santana took a breath; her angry voice still filling the classroom with its intensity. Santana was well and truly pissed.

Mr. Schue opened his mouth to say something and Santana cut him off.

"As in we'll be back to Glee when you can guarantee our mental, physical and emotional safety."

The Spanish teacher was well and truly stunned. He'd never expected Santana of all people to defend Rachel Berry.

After three seconds of no response, Santana was out of patience.

"Rachel, Quinn, Britts, let's go."

Santana stormed out of the room, closely followed by an attached at the hip Quinn and Rachel, with a light-footed Brittany bringing up the rear.

Mr. Schue sat stunned at his desk until the next wave of students entered.

**#RQSB#**

They were ambushed after school by most of the Glee club.

The Glee kids had them surrounded in a half circle next to the main double doors that opened into the school.

Quinn and Santana were about to blow a gasket while Brittany held Rachel tightly.

Every nerve in Santana's body went on high alert and a growl rumbled in her chest as the Latina stepped in front of Brittany and Rachel, every instinct telling her to protect her loved ones. Knowing that Quinn was going to fight, Santana's primary concern was the two girls behind her.

Quinn had been looking forward to going back to Rachel's house and relaxing with her girls in front of a movie.

So she had been ticked when Finn had blocked her path on the way to the car.

When Finn did not wilt and disappear under her glare Quinn's bad mood got worse.

When seconds later the Glee club had ringed the four girls in, backs to a wall, Quinn's temper exploded.

"What are you guys doing? ! ! !"

Quinn's voice was steady and dripping with anger. The words came out through gritted teeth and a vein pulsed on the left side of her forehead.

Santana and Brittany noticed the warning signs of an impending smack down. Santana smirked, as Brittany curled closer to Rachel, whose eyes were darting back and forth, looking for an escape.

The Cheerios could feel the terror rolling off Rachel, but none could think of a fast way to get her out of there.

"Please girl, we're the ones that'll be asking questions. So why don't you answer your own."

Mercedes was obviously the ring leader, with the others there by corrosion, or to harass the four girls.

"Well we were just trying to get to our car, but apparently that's not going to happen."

Kurt jumped into the conversation.

"Don't play coy with us. Why are you not coming to Glee anymore?"

Quinn rubbed the bridge of her nose and sighed.

"Because of that," here she pointed at Finn, "overgrown child acting like he'd had to share his toys. Rachel is not a thing, she has feelings and thoughts. It's her right to say no when she feels like it."

"Hah. We all know she's in love with Finn. She's getting the attention she wanted. What's the big deal? You should still be coming to Glee." Kurt scoffed, crossing his arms.

The three cheerleaders tensed and turned to glare at Kurt, looking like they wanted to kill him slowly while Rachel curled closer to Brittany as tears started dripping down her cheeks.

The diva kind of believed what Kurt had said. She deserved anything they wanted to send her way.

Quinn stalked forward with a growl, making the ring of Glee kids back up instinctually.

"So you think she deserved it?" Quinn bit out.

Kurt started to nod, but Quinn did not care, ignoring everyone as anger clouded her mind.

"You think Rachel deserved what Finn did to her?" Quinn yelled. "You think she deserved to be abused? No! Finn never should have pressured her for more than she was ready for, and he definitely never should have laid a hand on her!"

Quinn took a few deep breaths to calm down.

"If any of you would like the _real_ story of what happened between Finn and Rachel give me a call, otherwise leave us," she gestured to Santana, Brittany, and Rachel, "ALONE!"

Quinn motioned the other three girls forward.

"We're leaving now. And as for why we're not in Glee any more, we don't feel safe and we won't be back until we do. Please explain that to Schuester as well."

The head Cheerio stalked through the stunned Glee kids, closely followed by Brittany, who was basically carrying Rachel. Santana prowled behind them, glaring at anyone that _breathed_, much less looked, in their direction.

As Santana's car disappeared down the street, Artie, voice filled with shock, whispered,

"Damn."

**#RQSB#**

Life continued on as it was wont to do.

Rachel was harassed, although only out of sight of the cheerleaders. The Glee club and Mr. Schue still did not get why the girls had quit, Finn was still an ass, and Rachel was as closed off as ever.

The Wednesday before Thanksgiving, a comment from a jock broke Rachel, and opened the door for Quinn, Santana, and Brittany's entry into Rachel's past, and her heart.

The innocuous taunt that began the breakdown of Rachel's walls came from the tight end of the football team.

Trying to increase his popularity, the sophomore footballer had knocked Rachel's books from her hand and tripped her as she tried to pick them up. He taunted her, leaning up against a nearby locker for a moment.

"Watch where you're going freak, or I might take a special interest in you." He leered, before bumping fists with a wide receiver and making his way to class.

Quinn, Santana and Brittany had been a few steps away, at Rachel's locker watching in shock as the confrontation had taken place.

Santana reached Rachel's side first and managed to pick up the singer's books while glaring down the whispering hallway.

Brittany pulled Rachel into a quick hug and stole the books from Santana before nudging Rachel towards their next class.

Quinn smiled at the pair and squeezed Rachel's shoulder as they passed before stepping up beside Santana. The head cheerleader smirked as the whispers reached her ears.

The students that had witnessed the altercation were all wondering why the idiot footballer had gone against the Santana-enforced "Rachel is off limits" rule. The general conclusion seemed to be that he was dumber then Finn, and did not value his life, or his privates.

Quinn turned to Santana as the bell rang and they strolled toward their next class.

"Plan?"

Santana nodded and five minutes into class, a list appeared on Quinn's desk.

Looking it over, the blonde nodded in satisfaction, tapping a few items as she talked.

"Brittany's gonna want to do this one, and these two are mine. The rest are yours or a combo effort."

Santana grinned and nodded in agreement before refining the list of things she would do to the unfortunate jock, mind already racing with ideas about when and where to fire the opening salvo of retribution.

**#RQSB#**

Rachel could not get the leer out of her mind. For the rest of the day, she clung to Brittany as much as possible, trying to clear her mind of images she would rather forget.

As they arrived back at the house, Rachel slumped in her seat, the trembling that had started when her books had hit the ground earlier, finally taking over her body.

A small panic attack worked itself quickly through her system.

Regaining her equilibrium, Rachel found herself looking into Santana's worried eyes and felt Quinn running fingers through her hair as Brittany paced a few feet away, a pout on her face.

Once inside, Brittany took over cuddling, drawing Rachel into her arms and refusing to let go. Quinn and Santana laughed and took seats next to the couch Brittany had claimed.

Silence reigned and the atmosphere went from comfortable to awkward.

Rachel broke the silence, surprising everyone, including herself.

"Do you still want to know why I'm so messed up?"

It took the Cheerios a second to respond, brains exploding at the fact that Rachel had come to them instead of forcing another confrontation.

Quickly getting over their shock, Santana and Quinn began to babble about how they were willing to hear anything Rachel was willing to talk about. Brittany just kept stroking up and down Rachel's arm, her fingers never stopping, only tripping over air for a moment as Rachel had asked her question.

Santana and Quinn chuckled slightly as they tapered off and a smile graced Rachel's features before she remembered the topic at hand.

Brittany's constant stroking, up and down, up and down her arm was the only thing that kept Rachel even remotely calm and she could only hope that the calming touch would not stop, even after she had told them everything.

The blonde dancer conclusively answered Rachel's question when she uttered a single word.

"Yes."

Rachel took a deep breath, relishing her last peaceful moment with the three wonderful girls around her.

"Ok. I'll try to start from the beginning, but I apologize in advance. I'll almost certainly have to go back and explain some things. Also, please try not to ask questions until I'm done. I'm not sure how long my ability to talk about these events will last and I'd like to get this done in one go."

Rachel garnered three nods, two seen and one felt, before continuing.

"Ok then. I'll start with my parents."

**##RQSB##**


	11. Chapter 11

**AN:**

**Sorry you guys. I meant to get this up before Christmas, but you can see how well that turned out.**

**Between extra shifts at work, school starting back up, and my wisdom teeth getting taken out, let's just say I'm calling in my excuses for a few weeks. Add in that my muse has fled to elsewhere, and my mind cannot focus on anything related to Glee for longer than a few minutes and we have a writer's block.**

**There are a few one shots about other realms that I might post because that's what's in my head right now, but no promises.**

**Anyway, I am not abandoning you guys; I just don't have the next part of the story yet.**

**Good luck to ya'll, and I will be on ff pretty regularly, reading, communicating, and trying to figure out my next step so I'll be here if you have questions.**

**Oh, and I'm going to go through the past chapters and probably update with small changes so if you have me on alert you might be getting a lot of backlash.**

**Happy Holidays.**

**Chapter 11:**

"I've always been advanced. I was walking two months before I was supposed to and talking about five weeks ahead of schedule. Everything to do with school I've always been excellent at, drama activities came naturally, but it was never enough."

Rachel took a breath, grateful for Brittany's continued soothing up and down finger movements along her arm.

Trying to organize her thoughts on the fly Rachel continued.

"My dad pushed me to be more athletic, and my daddy pushed me to be more cultured, both pushed for me to improve intellectually. I was always striving for perfection, even once I'd figured out that perfection was unattainable, especially in the eyes of my dads. That search for perfection carried over into my everyday life, as you can tell."

Rachel gave the two girls in front of her a rueful smile.

"I've been trying to curb my 'perfection impulse' but it's been hard even after…"

The deep, heavy sigh that came from Rachel would have worried Quinn and Santana more if they had not still been focused on the cuteness that was Rachel Berry when she used air quotes.

Brittany on the other hand, took notice and one arm hugged Rachel closer to her, while continuing the movements of her fingers, knowing that it was soothing both of them.

A few moments of silence passed as Rachel steeled herself for the first big issue in her talk with the trio.

"My dads left the summer before 7th grade. They just started going off on trips, one after the other."

The singer's voice broke on her last word as tears dripped down her cheeks.

"They left a note, detailing the logistics of taking care of myself, such as money and bills. It was short, and not a word was written about where they went or why they left. They come back every once in a while to make sure everything is in order, but they don't stick around for more than a day, ever."

Rachel could see Quinn and Santana crying as quietly as they could, and everyone in a while a wetness on her head alerted the singer to the fall of Brittany's tears. It warmed her a little to know that they cared, but knowing that this was just the beginning of her story Rachel did not hold much hope that they would still be here and sympathetic when she finished.

Oh she hoped they let her finish.

"By the first day of 7th grade I'd gotten pretty good at taking care of myself, and making sure no one knew that my dads weren't around anymore."

Rachel paused for a second, knowing that the Cheerios would probably want to know why she had kept her dads leaving a secret.

"I kept my dad leaving a secret because I did not want to move, or be taken away from my home. And I did not want to be pitied by people, or be an even bigger disappointment to my dads. I figured they had left because I wasn't good enough, and this was their way of telling me to prove myself."

Sobs now wracked all three Cheerios bodies as they thought about how alone and scared twelve year old Rachel must have been, abandoned by her perfection demanding parents.

A sad smile graced Rachel's face as she cleared Brittany's face, before turning back around and doing the same for Santana and Quinn.

"Guys, we just started, if you're gonna continue crying through my entire talk, I'll need flood insurance.

Broken, but heartfelt chuckles erupted from the cheerleaders.

"We'll try not to flood your house estrella. Please continue." Santana said, rubbing her over Rachel's back for a second before sitting back in her seat and allowing the singer to snuggle closer to Brittany.

Rachel nodded.

"Ok."

After a deep breath and a quick check to make sure everyone was still there Rachel started talking again.

"I lived in this house for a year, and nobody noticed the difference. I longed for school, even with the torments that were visited upon me, because it got me out of this lonely cage."

Rachel stated softly, looking at her and Brittany's intertwined hands, nervously playing with their fingers.

"8th grade began and I was working so hard at my drama classes and regular school work, I started to slip up. Someone found out that I did not live the perfect life I portrayed."

A pause as Rachel gathered her thoughts.

"His name was Marcus, although he insisted on being called Mark. He was in every single one of my classes, and followed me around like a lost puppy at first. Once he found out about my situation he crossed into stalker territory. He tried to get me to go out with him a couple of times, but I refused. I did not like him very much, and I did not want to date at that point in my life anyway. He refused to take no for an answer. He quickly escalated from relatively harmless gift giving, to aggressive stalking. He started rumors, and was the creator of most of my original nicknames."

Rachel took a deep breath as memories assaulted her.

"One day he just snapped. I don't know what I did, he hadn't even talked to me that day, but he was waiting when I got back from my dance lessons."

Rachel hands were now being pulled in multiple directions by the singer, with Brittany's trying to calm their flight.

"He beat me, hard enough to fracture bones and leave deep bruises. He paused for a moment as I lay, barely breathing, on the floor. I thought he was going to leave it at that. Instead he raped me. Not a word was said the entire time he was in my house. I only managed whimpers and moans of pain, while he grunted and laughed as he looked at my broken body."

Rachel's voice trembled with fear as she was transported back to that night. She shook her head to clear it and tried to disappear into Brittany as she prepared herself to continue.

"He learned from his mistakes. He never left visible marks again. It continued into the beginning of summer, and when his family moved out of state I was relieved for my small respite."

Anger and sadness continually fought for domination with Santana, Quinn, and Brittany. They could not decide if they wanted to break down into body breaking sobs, or dry their tears and provide some much needed ass kicking to people who did not know what they had lost, or who they had hurt.

But under the sea of swirling emotions was an undercurrent of horror.

How had this happened? Were they really that blind? And how had Rachel dealt with all of this shit by herself?

The Cheerios could not fathom how hard it must have been to experience and talk about these things. It was hard enough to hear about them.

Their hearts shattered on behalf of the shadow girl in front of them. And all three hoped they could help her create a new person, the person she wanted to be.

Rachel looked around, trying to gauge the three girls reactions as the pause she had unintentionally created stretched on. Seeing messes of emotions, but nothing concrete, Rachel tried to look harder, but could only feel the tiniest bit of relief that she could not identify disgust, hatred, or the other negative emotions she had imagined, that was directed at her.

"There's more?" Santana's strangled, voice conveyed her incredulous feelings perfectly.

Rachel nodded.

Quinn shook her head.

"How are you still here? How are you able to get out of bed in the morning?"

Rachel chuckled. A hallow, eerie sound.

"You can't kill someone who is already dead."

A heavy silence feel over the room as Rachel organized her thoughts, moving past Mark, and onto the next topic. The singer's eyes were focused on the fabric of the couch, her eyes tracing nonexistent patterns within the colors and shapes, refusing to look at the trio, afraid to see what they thought about her, and gathering courage to continue.

"Over the summer both the leader of my dance troupe and a barista down at the Lima Bean took an interest in me. I soaked up the attention I received in the form of extra acting practices, and fee coffee with a side of flirting. It was an astonishingly peaceful and wonderful few weeks. The barista had asked me out on a date, and I felt I was growing by leaps and bounds as an actress."

A sigh echoed from Rachel, as the singer contemplated her hands, and her brain replayed the movies of her history.

"I should have known it was too good to be true. I was stood up by my date, and he denied our prior interactions while ignoring me. It hurt, but I realized intellectually that his disinterest was inevitable. Not only were our ages and issue, but I was broken. Why would anyone want something that's broken?"

The trio flinched as Rachel referred to herself as a thing, and added another name to their list of people that needed to die.

Rachel took a breath, now rubbing circles into the palm of Brittany's hand, before moving on from her rhetorical question.

"Anyway, it didn't hurt as much as being passed over for the summer theater project did. I had refused to join my troupe leader at his house for 'extra practice', knowing that it would be a bad idea, even if at the time I believed his motives to be pure."

A harsh laugh was torn from Rachel's throat.

"He cornered me after practice one day. He took what he thought was my virginity and leered down at me as he explained that I wouldn't be part of the play because I hadn't cooperated with him. I was left curled up backstage, crying and bleeding. The last half of summer was spent hiding in this house and ignoring the outside world, wishing that high school would start. I started school with the goal of making a friend. You know how last year turned out."

Here she looked at the three cheerleaders, who nodded although Rachel was not really expecting a response.

"In addition to the general knowledge you possess I will tell you about the few things that are not public knowledge. I came back here the night of the funk number flush with a feeling of belonging, to find my dads arguing in the kitchen. I thought for a moment that they had come to watch us at sectionals, but apparently Jesse had called them, and informed them that I had been in contact with my birth mother. They had come back to confront me about Shelby. I had thought that they were finally proud of me, but they were just angry because I had found the one person they'd made sure would never see me again."

The memories seemed to overwhelm Rachel for a moment, as tears fell from her eyes for the first time during their conversation.

The salty rain had been threatening since the start of their conversation, but Rachel had refused to give in, knowing that if she started crying it would be nearly impossible for her to stop.

Only a few drops fell before the diva angrily dashed them away, pausing the trio in their efforts to comfort her with her next words.

"I want to finish."

Angry but determined, Rachel's voice grew in strength as she continued.

"If I don't get this out I never will, and you deserve to know why I'm so… broken.

The last word was spit out harshly, as if the singer had choked on gravel instead of a word.

Rachel took a deep breath before continuing her story, tears now contained behind the determined glint in her eyes.

"The last time I saw my dads was in Agust, they came back for a night, and were gone the next day. I spent the summer trying to put the pieces of my life back together. Jesse and Finn had decided I wasn't worth the hassle of a relationship, my dads had managed to pen new wounds alongside the old, and Shelby had rejected me."

Quinn's guilt was written on her face, and Rachel quickly moved to comfort her.

"It's not your fault Quinn. You chose the best option for your baby that was available at the time. I certainly do not fault you for doing what you thought was best for your baby. I do fault Shelby for inserting herself into my life so forcefully, then leaving it in much the same way. I understand that a whole person is better than a broken person, but I wish the separation had been more gradual. It would have been nice to have even a small amount of interaction over the summer."

Rachel's fingers now traced the outline of Brittany's hand, as the dancer's other hand continued its soothing journey up and down Rachel's arm, having never stopped throughout the conversation. The singer refused to look up from her contemplation of Brittany's pale hand, nervous about what she would see if she did.

"That's the gist of everything. There are details and stories I'm leaving out, but now that you have the basics it'll be easier for me to talk about my past. That is if you want me to."

Silence stretched out as the four girls thought about what had been said.

Rachel trembled with nervous energy, Brittany was outwardly calm but inwardly conflicted, Quinn was biting her lip and wishing the past could be erased while wanting to show Rachel that she was loved, and Santana was seething, trembling in rage as she controlled her initial impulse to find everyone who had hurt Rachel and making their life hell, before kicking her own ass for contributing to the hell Rachel had gone through.

Quinn was the first to speak, snapping Rachel out of her mini freak out.

"You are amazing baby girl. I don't know how you survived, but I'm glad you did, and all I want to do is prove that you are wonderful and beautiful, and deserve to be loved."

Rachel choked on a sob as the singer's hold on her tears dissolved at Quinn's heartfelt words. As the trio comforted Rachel, faces marked with concern and love, Rachel finally let fo of her barriers. One thought circled around Rachel's thoughts as she cried herself past the point of exhaustion.

These three girls cared about her.

Hopefully she would be deserving of their love.

**#RQSB#**


	12. Chapter 12

**AN:**

**I am alive. However I am having horrendous writer's block due to multiple research papers due for my classes. **

**Anyway. Here's the next chapter. No promises on when the next one is going to be but I will hopefully have a few more chapters by the time I go off grid for a while in June. Best laid plans. **

**Chapter 12:**

The four day weekend saw Rachel becoming a happier, more carefree person. She laughed more, and was slowly becoming more self assured.

The trio was very attentive, showering Rachel with as much affection as possible, knowing that the singer was still insecure. Rachel had become extremely touchy-feely, and was almost constantly in contact with one or more of the trio. An emptiness welled up in Rachel every time she was out of contact with the three cheerleaders, even if they were just a few feet away.

The four girls spent a lot of time talking while cuddling, and watching movies while tangled so thoroughly that anyone who saw them would be unable to say where one girl ended and another began.

Monday came too soon. Santana, Quinn and Brittany were worried that Rachel would relapse with school, and all three resolved to try and stay within touching distance of the singer, knowing that she needed space but would want them close.

Surprisingly, Monday passed without incident. Rachel went through the day as she normally did, the only difference being that she smiled more often.

The three Cheerios were astounded. It blew their minds that Rachel could act like nothing had happened. Admittedly, Rachel had been doing this for years, but it still surprised the trio that the singer was so calm. It truly showed that Rachel was a master of acting.

As sectionals approached Mr. Schue seemed to be only slightly freaking out, and the Glee kids weren't worried at all. It was almost as if they knew Rachel would not let them compete without her.

The diva went to the trio four days before sectionals, convinced that the Glee club would not come to them. She pleaded with the trio, wanting to rejoin Glee club, if only for sectionals.

Reluctantly they agreed, and Tuesday afternoon saw them back in Glee, Rachel sitting near the instruments with the Cheerios on either side and behind her.

Mr. Schuester looked slightly relieved when he saw the four girls sitting there, although everyone but Finn ignored the quartet.

The meeting was a disaster.

Mr. Schuester had decided that in a show of team spirit, Santana would get the solo, Brittany and Mike would get a dance solo, while Quinn and Sam would sing the duet.

Finn, Mercedes, and Kurt threw fits.

Rachel was devastated about not getting a song, but happy for the trio, knowing they deserved some of the limelight.

The cheerleaders themselves were livid. As schemers, Quinn and Santana recognized what Mr. Schuester was doing. He was trying to buy loyalty, while punishing Rachel for leaving. Too bad the trio would not stand for it.

As the three tantrums from the diva section came to an end, the three Cheerios showed their own…discomfort, with the situation.

"I am **not** singing with Sam."

Quinn was the first to speak, and her voice told anyone listening that this was not up for discussion.

"And if you think we don't know what you're doing think again," Santana growled, inches away from Mr. Schuester, scowl firmly in place, wanting to intimidate the teacher and knowing Quinn and Brittany wouldn't leave Rachel's side.

Brittany's only move had been to cross her arms, and the ultimatum from her mouth was simple.

"I'll dance, if Rachel sings."

Before anyone could react to the trio's statements, Rachel spoke up.

"Mr. Schuester, I'm sure Quinn, Santana and Brittany would love to have starring roles in sectionals, if you could just give us a second."

Rachel's question was actually a statement, as she walked out the door with the three Cheerios reluctantly on her heels.

Halfway down the hallway, Rachel turned and regarded the trio with a mixture of fondness and exasperation.

"I know you guys are just trying to look out for me, but please take this wonderful opportunity to showcase your talents."

Rachel focused first on Santana.

"Come on San, you have a great singing voice and you deserve this solo. Please show everyone what you can do."

Santana grumbled, but nodded her consent.

"Fine. But you have to fight for the regionals solo if Mr. Jackass in there," Santana jerked her head back toward the choir room, "doesn't give it to you."

Rachel nodded, a smile splitting her face at Santana's "condition" and the Latina's obvious concern about Rachel's ability to stand up to people, before turning to Quinn.

"You deserve this just as much as Santana, Quinn, and think about it this way, you're singing with Sam instead of Finn. At least you can talk to Sam without wanting to kill him."

Quinn huffed, suppressing a laugh at Rachel's twisted logic.

"I'm still going to try and talk him out of it, but I will sing, no matter what. Happy?"

Rachel felt her knees knock at the sight of the famous, or infamous depending on who you ask, Fabray eyebrow. Although the singer did not know what feeling she was experiencing, it made her knees collide and feel like jelly. She did manage a small smile in response to Quinn, and turned to Brittany, quickly regaining her equilibrium, only to lose it again in the face of a full on Brittany pout.

_God, these girls should get these looks registered as weapons,_ Rachel thought.

Rachel's momentary distraction gave Brittany the chance to strike first.

"I'm not dancing unless you sing."

Rachel smiled, suppressing a small giggle at Brittany's petulant tone.

"But I will be singing Britt. I'll be backing Santana up during her solo and Quinn during her duet. You love to dance, so don't try to make excuses."

Rachel's soft glare melted Brittany's resolve in the same way Brittany's pout had melted Rachel seconds before.

"Fine," Brittany huffed, as she stomped her foot. "But I'm dancing with all of you, not just Mike."

Rachel laughed at Brittany's antics, biting her lip as she noticed the blonde was still pouting.

"As long as you dance."

Brittany squealed as Santana and Quinn chuckled.

"Yay!"

Brittany managed to hit a note Rachel did not know existed with that single syllable.

The blonde dancer pecked Rachel on the lips before bouncing back to the choir room, followed by her chuckling girlfriends, and leaving a shell-shocked Rachel frozen in place.

The diva touched her lips, the feeling of Brittany's lips etched into her brain, before shaking herself and following the cheerleaders back to the choir room.

**#RQSB#**

The Glee meeting ended shortly after the four girls returned. Santana and Brittany voiced their consent in surly voices as Quinn tried to argue her way out of singing with Sam.

Within seconds, Quinn had realized that Mr. Schuester, emboldened with Santana and Brittany's seemingly easy acceptance, was not going to budge on his arrangements.

A few minutes later, after Quinn huffed and growled her agreement, Mr. Schue ended the meeting. Apparently they would actually pick their pieces later, maybe in a few days when the competition took place.

Rachel gawked at their supposed leader's lack of initiative

The trio rolled their eyes. Typical Schue.

Brittany turned to Rachel as they walked out of the building, heading for Quinn's car.

"Can I please, please, please, invite Mike over tonight? We need to kick around a few ideas."

Rachel could not have said no to Brittany's pout, even if she had wanted to.

"Ok. But I'm not sure where you are going to practice."

Brittany laughed, and picked Rachel up in a hug in thanks.

"Your backyard of course."

**#RQSB#**

The days leading up to sectionals passed quickly and calmly. Rachel managed to find songs for Santana and Quinn, as well as help them practice.

In the first, and last, run through it was obvious that Brittany, Mike and Santana were going to rock. "Valerie" was going to set the crowd on fire.

Quinn and Sam would extinguish that fire before it even began if their performance did not change.

Quinn was flawless in her rendition, and Sam had picked it up easy enough. However, their performance lacked passion. Sam was fine, but Quinn wanted to punch his lights out because it seemed like he was trying to seduce her, although she had made it clear that she was in a relationship.

The night before sectionals, the girls did their own run through. Rachel giving out final advice to everyone, although mostly focusing on Quinn because the blonde was still furious about Sam's seduction attempts and grabby hands.

"Pretend you're singing to Santana and Brittany instead of Sam."

Rachel had guessed the extent of the trio's relationship not long after they had befriended her. The subject had come up during one of their many talks and Rachel's suspicions had been confirmed.

While Rachel was happy that her friends had found love, she could not help but feel it was a little sad that she would never experience that kind of joy.

Quinn's singing after Rachel's advice got infinitely better, and a smile lit her face as if flames danced under her skin. There was real passion in her voice, and Rachel knew if Quinn could focus enough on her girls to sing like that at sectionals they would win, hands down.

Instead, they tied with another school, all because Sam kept reading too much into Quinn's performance and kept trying to kiss her.

After the third near missed kiss, Quinn refused to go within an arm's length of the blond boy. However, Quinn sung wonderfully, and kept sneaking peeks at her girls, not that Rachel noticed she was included.

Santana was flawless, setting the crowd on fire. Brittany was having so much fun that it looked as if she would explode into rays of sunshine at any moment. Rachel was on a high from the great impact her friends had made.

When they tied for first place, the mood was caught between celebratory and somber, so Rachel and Brittany's giggles were out of place. Nobody knew that they were stifling laughs because Finn had nearly walked off the stage.

The four girls felt as if they were on top of the world.

They went out to a fancy restaurant in Columbus and got home late at night, stumbling into Rachel's room due to a combination of giddiness, exhaustion, and the crash of all the happiness they had been feeling that day.

Sunday they woke up and quickly regained the high from the day before, spending the sunny day romping through the wooded park and picnicking near a small hidden waterfall. After lunch, they wandered down the river, back to the pond where Brittany fed the ducks with the few leftovers.

For the first time in her life, Rachel felt truly happy. She had three great friends who cared for her, and had proven that they liked her for more than her talents.

Santana had never felt so at peace. Admittedly, she continued to survey the surrounding area every few minutes and was ready to respond to any perceived threat in moments. But with the sun warming her, Rachel snuggled into her side, and the two blondes messing around on the swing set she felt content.

This had to be the best moment of Quinn's life. Just enjoying time with her girls and being able to forget about everything but what was happening right then.

Brittany could remember other moments where she had felt happy. Most of her memories were of happy times, but this was definitely in the top ten, probably even top five as being one of the best.

And so, at the end of the day all four girls curled up together on the living room floor, marking this day as one of their favorites in their mental calendars as they drifted off to sleep.

**#RQSB#**


	13. Chapter 13

**AN:**

**Sorry about the long wait. **

**I haven't had much time to write and my internet connection has been in and out when I've actually had one. I am also now back at school and working part time, so I'm doing the best I can.**

**I have no idea when I'll be able to update, so this is under construction indefinitely.**

**Chapter 13:**

With sectionals behind them everyone was in high spirits.

Emboldened by their victory the Glee Club made sure to let Rachel know that they only need her to fulfill the warm body requirement.

At first it did not bother Rachel. She was floating on air, ecstatic that Santana, Quinn, and Brittany had gotten their chance to shine.

But as weeks passed and she was ignored week after week by everyone, including Mr. Shuestuer, Rachel sank slowly back in on herself.

Things got worse when Finn, Mercedes, and Kurt realized the Mr. Shuester would not do anything when they taunted Rachel.

Santana, Quinn, and Brittany tried to enforce a "be nice to Rachel" policy in Glee, but with Mr. Shuestuer covertly approving of the taunting it did no good, the antagonists just tried to do it when the cheerleaders were not there.

The rest of the school was mostly leaving Rachel alone due to the Cheerios, but her own team was making her life hell.

**#RQSB#**

The trio was at their wits end, and run ragged.

Between keeping the idiots in line and trying to convince Rachel that she was amazingly talented they barely had time for normal stuff like homework. And while they noticed the continual backslide into depression that was happening, nothing they did seemed to help.

Before Christmas break an idea was planted in Rachel's head.

Just a tiny idea that should have been expelled before it even appeared in her head.

Instead it took root and grew with every insult and taunt thrown her way.

No one cared.

No one needed her.

The world would be better off if she wasn't there.

It would be so easy.

And then the three amazing girls that now lived with her could get on with their lives and she would never have to be a disappointment ever again.

The Friday that Christmas break started was the breaking point for Rachel.

The jocks had been extra cruel and the referendum against tormenting Rachel had been forgotten in the giddiness felt by the entire student body, knowing that for the next two weeks they were free.

All throughout the day Rachel's school supplies had been stolen and vandalized, while taunts had been hurled as they popped into the minds of her tormentors. She had also been bumped and tripped in between every class, and had never been more thankful for her contingency plans, as she had been slushied twice throughout the day and if she hadn't had her slushy kit with her, she would have spent the entire day sticky and wet.

After school, Rachel's horrible day came to a head, as she made her way towards the choir room.

Six jocks, lead by Amismo, cornered her in the hallway. A slushy shower, several taunts, and a push that sent her crashing to the floor, the contents of her backpack now everywhere, left Rachel stunned and hurting on a fundamental level. Tears were barely held behind shuttered brown eyes.

It was Amismo's last taunt, delivered as he glared down at her before walking off, that broke Rachel in a way nothing else had.

"Worthless freak. Everyone would be better off if you were dead." He spat, leading the popularity hungry pack of ballers.

Tears dripped down Rachel's cheeks, unnoticed as she slowly got to her knees, and finally to her feet.

Soaked and shaking Rachel slowly made her way directly to her car, not bothering to pick up her fallen possessions, or stop at her locker for the gym clothes that were at least dry.

Walking straight out of William McKinley High School Rachel got in her car and drove home in a trance. That last taunt ringing in her ears, and overtaking her brain as the barest hints of an idea took root in her brain.

Maybe the world would be better off without her.

**#RQSB#**

Rachel walked through the house she had lived in for as long as she could remember.

Wandering through the downstairs, Rachel gently picked up pictures, and ran her palm over heavier objects. Memories assaulted her at every turn, most making her think that what she was doing was the right thing, with only a few bringing even the hint of a smile to her face.

She moved from the living room to the kitchen, before heading upstairs, good memories starting to outnumber the bad, with most of the good ones featuring Quinn, Brittany, and Santana. Reaching her bedroom, the last of Rachel's doubts disappeared. She knew the world, especially the girls that could never be hers, would be better off without her.

Her dads would never have to be disappointed in her again. The three cheerleaders she loved could move on with their happy lives. Life would go on, and she doubted many would even notice her absence.

Rachel's mind returned to the problem of how exactly she was going to commit…kill herself.

Even her mind treated suicide as a bad word.

But the show would go on, and Rachel _knew_, that this needed to be done. The world might not need her, but it did need the people she was holding back.

**#RQSB#**

Rachel lovingly ran her fingers over the bright metal blade that she'd bought that morning.

The first few days of Christmas break had been fun filled decoration extravaganzas and shopping sprees.

Rachel had never felt so happy.

And yet… the idea that the world was better off without her seemed better and better every time she had a spare moment to contemplate it.

So when the trio left to do some cheerleading event and shop for their last remaining presents Rachel fell into a depressive state. Her mind came to the conclusion that her angels would be better off without her around, and this time she found the emotion to go through with it.

Rachel lay in the bathtub, a large knife resting against her jean clad thigh.

Brittany, Santana, and Quinn were supposed to be gone for at least another hour or so, more than enough time to complete her task.

She just hoped her girls would understand that this was for the best.

Brittany skipped into the house on silent feet as Quinn and Santana followed laden with bags. The blonde dancer wanted to surprise Rachel with their early return and maybe snuggle on the couch while watching _Beauty and the Beast_.

However as soon as Brittany crossed the threshold she felt the wrongness that had permeated the house. She quickly made her way through the downstairs, and not finding Ray she ran up the stairs, jumping over every other step in her rush to find the missing girl.

Quinn and Santana entered the house with their hands full of bags, laughing at the bouncy blonde that had gone in search of Rachel. They dropped their bags in the entry way, the wrongness that Brittany had felt stopping them in their tracks, and Brittany's hurried steps spurred them into action as they followed the usually peaceful dancer upstairs.

They found Brittany sagged against the doorframe of the bathroom and when they looked inside the bathroom Quinn fell to the floor as Santana gripped the doorframe hard enough to leave imprints in the wood and make her hands turn white with the pressure she was exerting. But she managed to stay upright.

Rachel was in the bath tub with knife resting on her leg, eyes staring into the abyss, and not aware of what was going on around her.

Blood already flowed freely from cuts that walked themselves up her bare arm, the last one right before the juncture between her arm and neck.

Rachel looked dead at first, before Santana noticed the up and down movement of her chest, indicating she was still breathing.

Santana knelt by the edge of the bath tub, and rested her hand on Rachel's where it loosely held the knife.

"Estrella look at me please." Santana pleaded, trying, and failing to speak above a hoarse whisper.

Rachel's eyes were filled with tears and the emotions held behind the wall of tears could only be described as stormy.

"I just wanted to make life better San, I couldn't stand the pain anymore, I wanted to set you guys free."

Rachel sounded like a lost little child, and all Santana wanted to do was wrap Rachel in a hug, and never let her go.

And that's what she did, not caring that the sheathed knife was caught between them, or that the blondes behind her were still boneless, watching the two brunettes with tear tracks staining their faces. All Santana cares about is that her Estrella is clinging to her with all the strength in her body.

Santana leans down and whispers in Rachel's ear as she pulls her closer and tightens the hug.

"I love you Rachel. You're safe now. I've got you. We'll work through this, I promise."

**##RQSB##**


	14. Chapter 14

**AN:**

**Sorry this is so short and it's been so long, but I just wanted to get this out. This will probably happen again, but I'm hoping I can get another chapter out relatively soon.**

**Chapter 14:**

Santana continued to confront Rachel for what felt like hours, but was only minutes, before gently picking up the girl and moving her to the bed, never releasing her hold on the smaller girl, who only whimpered and clutched at Santana tighter as the Latina removed her from the bath tub.

They moved to the bedroom, and Santana settled down with Rachel still in her arms, although the singer had gone limp during the journey.

Quinn took up residence on the end of the bed while Brittany stood next to Santana, waiting for the silence to be broken. When it did events unfolded quickly, like a gunshot, with shock following like the echo of one.

"Please leave me alone."

"What?" Santana pulled away from Rachel as if she had been burnt.

Brittany quickly took her place behind Rachel and locked her arms around Rachel's midsection. She had seen this coming and had already decided that she was not letting go of Rachel, because right now that is what Rachel needed, even if she did not know it.

Santana continued to look at Rachel in shock.

"Please, just leave me alone." Rachel was begging as she weakly tried to escape from Brittany's grasp.

"You'd be better off without me. There is no reason for me to exist. I am flawed and will only hold you back. If there is a God he made a mistake."

Quinn and Santana stared at Rachel, not believing the words coming out of her mouth.

Brittany's heart broke. She had expected Rachel to push them away; it was why she was holding onto the brunette so tightly. But Rachel's words rung with a hollow inevitability that made her heart hurt as if it had been ripped out of her chest still beating. Rachel truly believed the words she was saying, she thought there was no hope, and the only way to make life better was to take herself out of the equation.

Santana wanted to hunt down all of the people that had ever hurt Rachel and make them hurt just as much. She somewhat understood what Rachel was going through, having been there herself, but was utterly shocked at how low the girl's self esteem seemed to have plummeted.

Quinn chose to actually say something, deciding she could re-examine this entire conversation later.

"Why do you want us to leave?" She asked quietly, laying her hand gently on Rachel's thigh.

Rachel's eyes stayed locked on her hands, which were twisting every which way, the only physical manifestation of the war taking place within her.

"Don't you want me to leave?"

Quinn shook her head slowly as she resolved to find the idiots that had crushed Rachel's self esteem and turn them into less then dust particles.

"No." She took a deep breath. "We want to stay, and we want you. I know it is hard for you to believe, but _we want you_." Quinn's eyes bored into the curls of Rachel's hair as she still refused to look up.

The four girls sat in silence, the trio waiting for Rachel to respond.

Rachel's hands slowed to a stop and she finally, slowly, looked up, watery brown eyes meeting Quinn's warm hazel.

"Really?" Rachel's voice was shaky and she barely got that one word out. She cleared her throat and continued, her voice still shaky, but a little stronger. "You want me?"

In the second it took Quinn to form her positive answer Rachel had dropped her eyes again and was speaking to herself.

Quinn waited to respond, wanting to hear what Rachel was saying.

"No, of course not. What were you thinking? Even if Quinn did, which she doesn't, Santana never could. Brittany loves everyone but I'm not even close to being worthy. Besides all three of them are together. They don't need someone broken butting in on their happiness, even if they would let me…"

Rachel's muttering degenerated into words isolated in silence that didn't quite make sense so Quinn decided to voice her answer, hoping to break Rachel out of her own head.

"Yes."

It was simple, straight forward. And it snapped Rachel of her spiral into the darkness of her mind.

Rachel's head rose as if pulled by a string, her eyes finding Quinn's before shying away to Santana's then flashing back to Quinn's before studying the bedspread as if it held the answer to life.

Quinn wanted Rachel to believe what she was saying so she ducked her head, trying to catch the brunette's eyes.

"Rachel. Look at me." Quinn's voice was quiet and calm, but an edge of command surrounded her words.

Slowly Rachel's head rose, and her eyes flickered from Quinn's to the patterns on the bedspread before finally locking with Quinn's eyes long enough for the blonde to say what she wanted.

"We want you."

Quinn's hand caught Rachel's chin as she attempted to avert her eyes again.

"Santana, Brittany, and I all want _you_. You may be broken but you are worthy of love."

Rachel's eyes filled with tears as Quinn's hand continued to cup her chin gently, making Rachel see the truth that was evident in the emotions in her eyes.

Rachel's tears fell, and continued to fall as she started to understand that these three angles really wanted her.

As Rachel's tears sapped her strength and she started to drift off a though flitted across her mind, which made a small smile grace her face as she gave into her body's need for sleep.

Ever since the trio had become her friends she had cried more then she had before, but she had also never felt better.

**##RQSB##**


	15. Chapter 15

**AN: **

**I am a bad person. But I blame it on life and my muse. Life for being so darn busy and my muse for focusing on everything but this story. I apologize for it being so long between updates but it couldn't be helped.**

**This isn't what I wanted to post, I had hoped to get more done before I put this out but decided to give you guys what I had. Hope you enjoy.**

**Chapter 15:**

Rachel woke up and swallowed thickly her mouth dry before moving her head just enough to take in Santana and Quinn, who were sitting on either side of her, hands resting on her legs, and seemingly content just to be there for her. She could feel Brittany's heart beat, slow and steady, keeping pace with her own and calming her.

These three angels were here with her and wanted her to stay with them.

They wanted her. Rachel shook her head still not able to believe that they would want _her_.

Rachel decided she would oblige and put aside her more destructive tendencies for the time being.

She would need them again when the trio decided she wasn't worth the trouble.

**#SQBR#**

Christmas was a welcome distraction from everything that had been going on.

The trio watched Rachel carefully for a few days after her breakdown, trying not to smother her, but also not taking any chances.

Christmas morning dawned cold and bright, sunlight dancing across Brittany's giddy face. She was making the bed vibrate, even with her attempts to control her excited bouncing, Santana and Quinn on either side of her dead to the world.

When the clock read 7:00am Brittany shook both her companions awake before sliding off the bed and dashing down the hallway to knock on Rachel's door.

The blonde and brunette groaned but grinned when on opening their eyes they saw each other's tired pouts. They quickly got up and poked their heads out the door to see what Brittany was doing.

Brittany knocked on Rachel's door and moved to try the door knob, stopped by the door opening before she could.

"Hello Brittany. Excited for presents?"

Rachel's happiness was genuine and Brittany's excitement grew. She had been worried Rachel would never truly smile again. Giving the diva a quick hug before letting go, Brittany bounced on the balls of her feet.

"Yep. Come on. Time to open presents. I want to see if you like yours."

Brittany missed Rachel's surprise look as she grabbed Rachel's hand and pulled her downstairs to where the tree was.

Rachel just stared at the tree, mouth open as Brittany skipped around dividing the presents under the tree into four piles. Santana and Quinn could be heard in the kitchen. The banging of pots and pans along with Spanish curses and soft giggles brought a smile to Rachel's face, which turned into a giggle as Brittany came up behind her and picked her up in a hug, carrying her into the kitchen and depositing her gently on a stool with a kiss to the cheek.

It was an amazing morning.

Singing along to the Christmas songs, enjoying breakfast, Brittany and Santana's antics when trying to steal Quinn's bacon, all of them getting in a food fight.

The smile on Rachel's face outshined the sun as she bounced down the stairs, still damp from her shower.

It was creeping up on 11 and they had not even touched the presents yet, although that was partially due to Santana dragging Brittany upstairs for a shower first.

"Go keep Brittany from opening her presents, I'll be down after a quick shower." Quinn said, smile on her face as she bounded up the stairs.

Rachel walked into the living room to see Brittany sitting in the arm chair she had dragged next to the tree, bouncing up and down in excitement and not taking her eyes off of the presents. She laughed and went to give Brittany a hug, getting caught in the blonde's arms and pulled into her lap.

Santana came down the stairs to find Rachel snuggled intro Brittany, with the dancer's arms wrapped around the small singer, both basking in the other's presence.

Rachel moved, breaking the circle of Brittany's arms by stretching, not liking the feeling of being confined. She dropped a kiss on Brittany's cheek before slipping off her lap and walking around the tree, admiring the decorations and remembering the fun time they had setting all the Christmas material up.

When Quinn finally set foot in the living room Brittany flitted around handing out presents.

They tore open the wrapping paper, squealed over gifts, chuckled over gifts, and just hung out, enjoying each other's company and the Christmas movies.

Rachel fell asleep in the middle of a cuddle pile, surrounded by warm skin and enveloped by a feeling of happiness.

For the next week falling asleep, all together in the living room, became their nightly ritual.

The Cheerios were ecstatic, hoping this meant Rachel was feeling more comfortable with them.

Rachel was enjoying the warmth and happiness, but scared things would change, and still thinking this was a temporary thing.

They made an appearance at Puck's new year's party but left after an hour of mingling to snuggle on the couch and watch a movie.

The trio was dozing when the movie ended so Rachel changed out the disc, and noticing the time, turned off the TV.

As the clock struck midnight Rachel bent down and kissed Brittany, Santana, and Quinn on the forehead with a whispered, "Happy New Year's." before attempting to cover the girls with a blanket and escape up the stairs.

She ended up caught by Santana's arms and pulled into the Latina's embrace.

After a few minutes to adjust to the hold Rachel soaked up the safe feeling she got from Santana and feeling lighter than she ever had, drifted off to sleep.

**##RQSB##**


	16. AN: And this will eventually be replaced

**AN: So sorry for the wait. Two computers and twice as many flash drives latter I still cannot figure out what happened to the 8 pages I had 6 months ago when I tried to post an update.**

**Lots of work to do yet. I just wanted to let you all know I hadn't abandoned this… just lost the physical copy everytime my mind decided to work on it.**

**If I find it I will update with that but until the I will try to reconstruct what I wrote. Here is a little bit that I managed to kind of put together before things got busy again (it really will change because I have not been able to string all these scenes together in a way I like). Hopefully I'll be quicker…**

**Chapter 16:**

**##RQSB##**

It was the Friday before school started again when their happy bubble got punctured.

The day started off fine. The girls had lazed around, relaxing and trying to do some homework. The house phone rang and Rachel frowned, trying to remember who actually had her home phone number and failing to place the area code.

The phone call from her fathers' sent her spiraling again. The trio had a hard time coaxing Rachel out of her room for the rest of the break. But as they never stopped trying Rachel eventually realized that she could do this. For once there was someone on her side.

It threw her for a loop.

**##RQSB##**

Rachel walked into school Monday surrounded by the giggling trio and smiling shyly, a blush painting her face.

They had been trying to see who could turn her the reddest during the car ride to school and Brittany had won with her delivery of a deadpan innuendo that had made Rachel duck her head and turned her whole face red.

Rachel's small moment of embarrassment was quickly over whelmed by the feeling of being accepted and the idea that these girls cared about her.

**##RQSB##**

"We love you."

"No."

Of all the answers Rachel could have given, the trio had not been expecting that one. But then again they probably should have, especially as she continued.

"You can't. I am broken, tainted, why would you possible want me?" Rachel trailed off at the end, the wobble in her voice unmistakable.

Brittany rushed forward, wanting to wrap Rachel in a hug, but Rachel had backed herself into a corner and held up her hand to stop the blonde's forward movement. Her other hand wiped away the stray tears that she was trying to fight back.

"You all are perfect. Why would you want someone like me? Broken beyond repair and destined to bleed out. I cannot, I will not, take you down with me."

Santana slowly crept forward until Rachel ooked up to meet her eyes.

"We are not perfect."

It was Santana's turn to hold up a hand, forestalling the tirade she knew would be unleashed.

"We aren't. But even if we were we would still love you because you are perfect."

Rachel was shaking her head furiously in denial.

Quinn chimed in.

"Just as we're perfect in your eyes, you are perfect in our."

Rachel lost her composure and sunk to the ground, sobbing.

Brittany caught her and wrapped her in a hug as Quinn and Santana cuddled up on either side.

**##RQSB##**


End file.
